A Travellerspoint blog




Why shouldn't you stay with someone who cheats on you? If it happens once, it will happen again. Why? If you stay with man or woman who has cheated on you, you've essentially taught them that they can sleep with somebody else and you'll take them back. Wow, that's pretty great news for them!
The first time someone cheats on you, he has the most to lose because he doesn't know what your reaction will be. But, once he's weathered the initial storm, he knows precisely how you'll react. By the time he's cheated on you twice, three times, thirty-eight times, he knows exactly what to expect. Lots of crying and screaming, followed by a few weeks or months of good behavior on his part. And then, he's on to his next aerobics instructor/co-worker/mall vendor. Repeat.
Even if you manage to get past the lies, the heartache, and the ten pounds you'll put on with comfort food, a cloud will always hang over your relationship. You'll never truly feel cherished, or completely loved. And you deserve better than that, don't you? Why torture yourself with feelings of self-doubt and insecurity? Tell that cheater to hit the road, lock yourself in your apartment with your closest friends, a stack of sappy movies (or action flicks) and a couple quarts of your favorite brand of frozen happiness. Move on, and find someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve. You have the power here. Let me say it again: People will only treat you as poorly (or as well) as you allow them to. So, draw a line in the sand. As of today, your high standards are renewed.
Now that you're weeding out the losers, what will you do on Saturday night? Here's the answer: You'll only date people who treat you with respect and kindness and dignity. You'll only date people who are enthusiastic to be around you. I chose to date only men who brought me sweets and opened my car door as well, but that's optional, depending on your affinity for good manners and chocolate. From now on, you'll only date people who treat you as though you are a Christmas gift to the universe. This may narrow the field a little in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it, you'll have only the best dates to choose from. And that's really what it's all about, isn't it?
There's no advice or magic wand to turn a cheater or abuser into a prince or princess. Consider them a lost cause and move on. Once you set your standards back where they belong, you'll be able to meet and maintain a relationship with the kind of person you truly want to be with.

Posted by maharot 12:21 Comments (0)

miss match

this blog has been posted in my other blog dated 11-28-2008 (old news)


Amidst couples hurrying to walk down the aisle, I sat here in front of my monitor pondering why they do. Don’t get me wrong, I have dreams of having my own family, raising kids (preferably with a husband), cooking their meals, preparing their things (yes, odd as it may seem, I see myself staying at home and being a full time domestic helper) etc. maybe everything boils down to me being raised by my single working mom (not that she was unmarried, but they parted ways when I was still in my diapers-good for her). and the thought of the “perfect” mom you see in commercials appeal to me so much. I never experienced going home from school and be offered a glass of milk which I have to drink “all the way down”. I have a happy childhood though. It was my tita edith who would attend to me after school, serve me lunch and mango shake or spend time with me eating semi-ripened papaya dipped in vinegar (which makes me realize now how weird that snack was). I loved it back then. Going back, I love my mom no less. Had she been a plain housewife, I wouldn’t know where we’re gonna get money for my education. She’s been (still is) a responsible and loving mother, not very sweet though. Maybe that’s why im also like this: A walking mirror. If your dress doesn’t suit you, you’ll know just by asking me. That’s why I can’t be a saleslady. I also wouldn’t give out sugar-coated comments like most nice friends do but I send the message across at a flick of the finger, it may hurt most of the time but you’ll see the real situation in a few seconds. Which brings me back to the topic why im not hitched yet. I have a theory that most Filipino men are afraid of women who have a very strong personality. Even if I try to be nice, my appearance would fail me. I look like your modern-day contrabida. A callous looking stare (which I don’t mean when I try to check people out), a height that can rival any average Filipino, which according to my friends, intimidate the prospective suitors. Not to mention my being straight forward. I just don’t like guys giving me insincere compliments (you’d know that. Women’s intuition probably-though I don’t look like a woman hehehe). If I feel that there’s no future, why waste their time and mine? Frank as I am, I never would be able to tell a guy I have the hots for him. Call it pride or whatever you wanna call it, I just won’t. Even if I think about him all the time (literally) and harbor fantasies of growing old with that person. Well, maybe that explains it. No solution for that for now, so in the meantime, I’ll just be content in being unattached for another 5 years or so. Pathetic!

Posted by maharot 12:10 Comments (0)


i kinda like this song. it happens to everyone. you sometimes forget to show the people you love how you feel

all seasons in one day 27 °C


Show me a smile and then kiss me
Tell me you love me again
Come to my room and then lie in my bed
I love you, you know
Although sometimes it just doesn't show

Love me forever
Love me all night through
Love me for a lifetime
I live my life for only you

Giving is my way of loving
It's the only way that I know
I've got nothing much
I've got nothing to show
I love you, you know
Although sometimes it doesn't seem so

Love me forever
Love me all night through
Love me for a lifetime
I live my life for only you

Posted by maharot 12:54 Comments (0)

lost in emotion

dahil madaming na-touch (??) dito sa sulat nato, ipopost ko na sha.it's an open letter to my friend Dax, the kuya(/spiritual adviser/love guru/drinking buddy etc.) i never wanted hahahaha

huy....nasasad na naman ako.siguro iniisip mo, na naman??? well, oo, na naman. im a girl, you know (even if you wish otherwise, sometimes) and im entitled to hormonal imbalance. alam ko na din ang sasabihin mo (wawa naman..) and yet i always turn to you. i dunno why. perhaps, you feed my need for affection or maybe just the mere fact that you always make me feel special. minsan naisip ko, the reason i enjoy your company is because i feel like a woman, not sexually, but i feel a lil dependent, weaker maybe... i know i have quite a strong character, but it doesn't seem to bother you. you can raise your voice at me (hoping you can get away with it) and vice versa, without us quarelling. you dare impose things even my friends wont think of trying. i wont budge though but i enjoy it. the idea of someone unintimidated and bold enough to stand up and face my crankiness give me hope that somewhere, there's someone cut out for me. you make that hope burn. and im grateful for that. i guess i've always been blessed with such good friends. my circle of friends compensates for the things i lack in the romance arena. that's good enough for me.

you do wonders to my soul, you know that? i know i've told you that a few times already, and i mean it all the time. if you only knew how much i appreciate:
> the comforting words (kupal sha! yaan mo sha, wag mo na pinagkakakausap un!)
> you sharing your "precious" time with me(meet kita later ha, may gigibain lang ako hehehe)
> the prompt reply pag nagtext pa lang ako ng "san ka?"(o ano problema mo ng shootah ko?inom na tayo?!!!)
> the surprises ([me:o bat ka nandito???] you:nag emergency leave ako e. sabi mo depressed ka!)
> the moral support (o sige sabihin mo jan kay baluga, magkasama tayo!magimbento ka na ng mga pampaselos, kahit ano, papayag ako.para matauhan na yang si pangit!)
> the understanding (anaknam! siya pa din? kakausapin ko na nga yan.. para sumaya ka na)
> the hugs that never fail to warm my heart.

i guess you're the Kuya i never had (nor wanted).nonetheless, ahlabshu!!!

Posted by maharot 23:53 Archived in Jamaica Comments (2)

wanted: boylet

maharot is currently looking for a bedspacer

-17 °C

parang ang sarap isabit nito sa pinto ng kwarto ko. how sweeeeeeet!namimiss ko na yung feeling na bigla ka na lang mapapangiti (baliw na?) o ang tinatawag ni pardner na US o "uncontrollable smile". mafifeel mo to pag bago-bago pa lang kayo. yung perfect pa lahat. getting to know each other stage pa kumbaga. yung wala pa kayong petty quarrels like di sha nagtext kung kumain ka na ba o kaya nagpacute bago kayo maghiwalay pag uwian na. nakakamiss ung "honeymoon" stage pa. yung di mo pa nakikita ang true colors niya hehehe.truecolors.jpg
during the honeymoon phase, cute ang lahat ng bagay na ginagawa niyakulangot.jpg6images.jpg.
kasehodang linisin mo ang lahat ng kalat niya 7images.jpg
o kahit gabi2 shang tumatawag ng uwak, dedma ka lang. pero come to think of it, it's gets tiring after a while. lalo kung di naman kayo magkasundo talaga to begin with, at pinilit mo lang gustuhin ang mga bagay na gusto niya para marealize niyang you're the one, kahit mas malabo pa sa pirated movie na kinunan sa loob ng sinehan ang maging kayo in the future. yung bang di tugma ang sinasabi sa buka ng bibig? frustrating di ba? kaya ako, di na ko naghahanap ng gwapo, kasi papangit din yan o tataba pagtanda (bitter??) ang importante, yung kasundo mo. someone who treats you well kahit walang ineexpect (pwede kaya to???). yung papabayaan ka lang (hmm parang mali). i mean he lets you be and you don't have to pretend that you have the same interests, there's no such thing, ano kayo kambal? 9images.jpg although at some point, nai-imbibe nyo na din ang habits ng isat-isa. kung addict sha, addict ka na din, chareeeeng! sana nga may ganun. yung considerate sa feelings mo and respects your views and decisions. i bet it won't be a bed of roses. for sure, meron kayong di pagkakasunduan, pero you'll learn to deal with it in time (like 20 years?). meron din namang tumanda na sa pagaaway kahit di mo naman mapaghiwalay. si tatay at si nanay mula nung nagka-isip ako (alam ko questionnable yung may isip ako) laging nagaaway. not the major ones pero di sila magkasundo. siguro lust lang talaga hahaha kasi pareho silang gwapo't maganda. nandyang magaaway sila kasi uutot si tatay at ipapaamoy pa niya yun (gross), minsan sabay pa kami tapos tatawa kami habang si nanay di maipinta ang mukha. di naman makagalit kasi takot sha kay tatay. just recently (a few weeks after tatay passed away) kinuwento ni nanay na nagiinit ang ulo ng tatay pag nawawala sha (nabulag na sha eventually) so pag niring niya ang bell niya at wala si nanay, mahabang explanation yan. and to think, nasa labas lang si nanay naglalaba ng damit nila. yes, they're in their 80s pero si nanay pa din lahat. pagpasok ng nanay, tatanungin sha agad.
tatay: san ka ba nagpunta? (annoyed)
nanay: sa labas naglalaba ako
tatay: sa labas...(doubtful) baka naman may kausap ka na sa gate!
nanay: ano ka ba? hawakan mo ang duster ko!basa pa sa kakalaba ng damit mo.

kaloka di ba?sabi ng nanay mas grabe pa yan nung bata pa sila at iilan pa ang anak. natanong ko tuloy "kelan ba to nangyari, nay?". sabi niya mga ilang weeks lang bago sha namatay. o di ba naman. pero deep inside i know they love each other so much, despite their differences. or maybe, nung time na yun, iba lang talaga ang mga tao. mas pasensyosa ang babae, ang lalaki naman, medyo kuntento na sa isa, lalo pa kung marami ng bibig na papakainin.

going back, ipapaskel ko pa din ang signage na to:

Posted by maharot 14:41 Comments (6)

jurassic misconceptions

heresays and other things i consider as FACTS during my childhood

1. pag hindi natulog ang bata sa hapon, di na lalaki (lumaki naman ako, mukha nga lang lalaki!)
2. pag di nagpatingin ng ulo (for lice) bibitbitin ng mga kuto at lisa sa mataas na puno at iiwan ka na doon.
3. tutubo ang buto (seeds) sa tyan pag nalunok mo ito. tapos lalabas sa pusod ang mga sanga.
4. gaganahan ka kumain pag may OLUK-OLUK sabi ng lola ko. turned out, a few grains of salt lang ang nilalagay niya sa ibabaw ng kaning issubo ko.at recently ko lang naisip na ang OLUK-OLUK ay kabaligtaran lang ng LUKOLUKO!!! grrr...
5. na boyfriend ko si niño muhlach!!! (may cut-out pako na pic na nakadikit sa wall ko at kinikiss ko sha before ako matulog----bata pa illusyonada na)
6. na may sustansya ang banana catsup
7. ang mama ko ang pinakamasarap magluto ng sunny side up (na palaman sa sandwich--nauso to sa class namin.)
8. na pwede akong maging recording artist ksi lagi akong pinapakanta ng mama ko then irerecord niya para ipadala sa ninang ko na nasa Bahrain.
9. na pag nilagyan ng sipit ang ilong ko, tatangos din sha pareho ng mga ilong ng tito't tita ko.
10. na pwedeng 2 asawa ng lalaki (based sa mga stories sa lovingly yours, helen).

Posted by maharot 19:16 Comments (0)

lovingly yours, maharot

maharot is devoid of sleep and and is suffering from Premenstrual dysphoric disorder .....o wag sana gullible ha

Ola! amigos y amigas. another year has passed and hopefully, we will all have a better and more colorful year ahead of us. wooohooo!

dear maharot,

nahihirapan na ko sa sobrang dumi ng bahay namin. nagkalat ang baso, pinagkaininan, jacket atbp. sobra po akong nabobother sa set-up namin. i dunno what to do..help


dear Amidala,

habang natutulog ang mga housemate mo, pagsamahin ang mga damit nilang nakakalat (yung mga tuyo), ibabad sa gasolina. isama na din ang mga nakakalat sa lamesa. ibabad ng 10-20 minutes. tanggalin at ikalat sa buong kabahayan. magimpake ka na ng mga gamit mo, yung valuables lang. iwan mo na ang iba. bago ka umalis, siguraduhin bukas ang mga gas at nakasaksak lahat ng appliances. sindihan mo ang mga binabad mong damit ng housemates mo. tumakbo ka na agad at wag magtagal sa bahay. magpalit ka na din ng pangalan at magparetoke ng mukha,dahil kung sswertihin sila at d mamatay sa sunog, im sure huhuntingin ka nila kasama ang buong PNP at Narcom.

P.S. tigilan mo na ang pagdadrugs

lovingly yours, maharot

dear maharot,
lagi na lang po akong loveless. kung magkakaron naman po ako ng fubu, lagi na lang pong ako ang gumagastos, bibihira pong walang bayad. kailangan ko pa sila lalasingin. mahilig din po ako sa mga challenges. yun pong malabo akong magustuhan kahit anong bait kong tao.di ko na po kaya ang mga nangyayari. i want to end this.


dear athena,

una sa lahat, alam ba ng mga fubu nila na fubu mo sila? baka sa dreams mo lang sila nagiging fubu?? o baka naman naghihintay ka ng divine intervention na pagkakita pa lang sayo e feeling mo magwowork ang love at first sight. wag ganun 'neng.wag magfeeling. you need to take your appearance in consideration. syempre, dapat maayos ang damit mo.refrain from using baggy pants especially if your thin. pati na din ang shirt. tingin ko babagay sa yo ang pastel colored polo shirts (not too loud though at wag ung giveaway na screaming PINK). wear manly cologne/perfume dahil ang mga boys ngayon ayaw ng pagirl. now the highlight-- yung shoes. laging sariling sapatos mo ang gamitin mo to avoid any misunderstanding with housemates. kung hindi ito masusunod, nakikita kong you'll die a gruesome (HOT) death accompanied with 3rd degree burns. lucky color: purple lucky number:57

lovingly yours, maharot

dear maharot,

happy new year! isa po ako sa avid readers nyo. di nyo naiitatanong, kaya ayoko din naman sagutin (HUWAAAAAAAT??-Maharot). malaki ang problema ko sa bf ko. actually di naman sha malaki (ang bf ko), pero di ako mapakali tuwing magkasama kami kasi parang malayo ang tingin niya at parang matamlay sha. wala na ang dati niyang sigla. di ko naman po sha pinapagod masyado. ano kaya ang iniisip niya?


dear princess,

sana nilakipan mo ng aspirin ang sulat mo, sumakit kasi ang ulo ko dun. di ko kilala ang bf mo kaya di ko alam kung ano iniisip niya (tingin ko gusto ka niyang ihulog sa bangin, un e sa tingin ko lang naman) pero since sinasabi mong matamlay sha, balisa at walang sigla, ang maiaadvice ko lang e dalhin mo sha sa espesyalista. madami sa Quezon Institute. mukhang malapit na sha!

lovingly yours, maharot

dear maharot,

minsan naisip ko na sana mayaman ako at nabibili ko lahat ng luho ko, pati na din ang mga pangangailangan ng pamilya ko. ano sa tingin mo?


dear bardagol,

inggitera ka! dream ko din yan...

lovingly yours, maharot

dear maharot,

ano ang mas masarap para sayo? tokneneng o kwek-kwek?


dear bogart,

naknam!! pareho lang yung ITLOG ergo masarap sila pareho. on the contrary, di lahat ng itlog masarap hehehe

lovingly yours, maharot

dear maharot,

hi low! how are you? meeh? im okay. how is you're health? i hope you recieved this letter of mine in a good condition okay?! i am one of youre many fan. hope we could have been friends for life. i will waiting for youre reply since i write to you this letter and im hoping for youre kind consideration. i promise to write to you letters daily. thank you for youre reading this.


dear kikay,

isa ka pa! isang banig na paracetamol ang kailangan ko sa sulat mo. ginawa mo pa kong penpal cum teacher (dahil mukhang excuse letter/ promissory note ang letter mo!). lubayan mo ako bago maginit ang ulo ko.

lovingly yours, maharot

dear maharot,

ate!!! alam ko kaw to! bigyan moko ng pera. ang kuripot mo talaga! di pa orig ung binigay mong Zippo! susumbong kita kay mama.


aaah uhmmm

"Temporarily unable to communicate with the server. The page that you are trying to view failed to load, e.g. onLoad received success=false for URL '/content/asalgebra/Content/pages/cla/c/82/02/xml/answers_d.xm."

hehehe HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! :)

Posted by maharot 13:38 Comments (1)

here and now in a parallel universe

close your eyes. imagine...

in another part of the world:

someone says a prayer for a dying loved one..

a father walks his daughter to the aisle..

a wife forgives her husband for having an affair..

a would-be-mother sings a lullaby to her unborn child.

a customer complains about a bad service..

a first time smoker puffs his first cigarette..

a starving family sleeps in an old abandoned building..

a child dies of poison from a firecracker..

someone consoles a bereaved relative..

a newlywed couple tries to make a family..

an escort is leaving his very satisfied customer..

an unwed mother ponders about taking her child's life..

a 53-year old widow is about to tell her kids of her wedding plan to her 26-year old boyfriend..

a girl kisses her boyfriend one last time..

a closeted gay tells his family of his preference..

longtime lovers contemplate marriage..

a child utters his first few words..

a dying man asks for forgiveness..

someone whispers... "I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you" ..

a priest discovers he is about to become a dad..

a teenager had her first sip of alcohol..

a spinster still grieves over a lost love..

a grandfather holds his grandchild's hand while taking her first few steps..

a mother cries tears of joy during her son's recital..

a child learns to ride his bike..

a family misses a loved one who passed away..

a godfather of 49, dreads christmas gift giving..

a family of an ex-convict reunites, after their father's long absence..

an adolescent had her first menstruation..

a has been singer performs in the comfort of his own bathroom..

a 6-year old tells his classmates he wants to be an astronaut..

countless possibilities. decisions made in a split second. and no assurance of how it would turn out after..

Posted by maharot 15:26 Comments (0)


an entry from my good friend "bumbay" to his very lucky wife

a short backround about bumbay:
he is the guy you always see playing basketball across your house, whom you wouldn't give a second look (since he wont make eye contact). he used to be the "shy type". un pala balahura rin. he wears age-old levi's with a GIRL SCOUT printed tshirt (that's what he's good at, scouting for girls), neon pink socks and vintage converse (when i say vintage, i mean it).he and my friend sheila used to fight a lot ranging from napthalene ball-scented shirts (sheila:ambaho mo! amoy kulob ka na ewan!) to *&%! sizes (bumbay:siguro malaki t*e mo kaya ka mataba?hehehe). the typical tambay (tambay sa mayrick's) cum rockstar look crossed with a newly recruited taliban hahaha. he's the last person i would imagine writing mushy stuff. made me think there's still hope for insensitive guys to change (not that he's insensitive). here goes...

Happy Birthday to Emi:

My Lucy Whitmore

The only person who keeps laughing at my old recycled jokes

The coolest thing that ever happened to me and to this world

Who made me and Evan the luckiest

My bestest friend

The most loving and awesome wife and mother in the whole wide world

Who understands electronics user's manual better than I do

Who made me learn to appreciate wearing neckties (tshirt is not the only clothing on earth)

Who once was crazy about Ariel Rivera but seemed to have an amnesia about it and would not admit it.

Who made living worth every frames of it (for video there is 30 frames per second, for film there's 24).

Who made life beautiful.

Who is gradually gaining more and more patience over my (and Evan's) "occasional" untidiness

The only one who thinks I should keep my faith that my hair will someday grow back or gain some micro inch with the right shampoo. Else, bald is the new cute.

Who always makes me want to follow my dream, keep trying, not give up and that I'll get it right eventually.

Who I love the most.

Who is always right (I truly, madly, deeply, absolutely believe this!)

I love you, Mom! :)


Posted by maharot 21:12 Comments (0)

the voice within....

confronting your "inner self"

-17 °C

having nothing to do last tuesday, i've decided to watch fight club. during the first half of the film, i was thinking how edward norton convinced the filmmakers that he could be the protagonist in the movie. then i realized brad's stars werent as lustrous back then as they are now, and ed is quite a good choice for the repressed tyler durden. my friend "jude" has a fantasy of putting ed and john (cusack) together in a movie as twins. hmmm not bad since they kinda have small features. the lips are quite narrow, the facial structure etc. surprisingly they're both tall (more than 6 feet). the question is who will play the troubled one (they've played characters with dual personalities in the past). or was he referring to an "M2M" film? hahaha kidding...

going back to the movie, a segment shot in the basement (or was it a room?) interests me; where jack (initially, i thought that was his name because he kept using it) found essays written supposedly by a body part i.e. bile duct, nipples, colon. my mind started creating a list of "what ifs". like how my heart would write a story of my mostly non-existent lovelife? or how my g-spot could create an impossibly exciting narrative about my nil sexlife? or perhaps my ugly feet describing my endless local travels from divisoria to the remote confines of alapan? endless possibilities huh? one day if i get bored enough, i might create, lemme see, "the breathtaking and sensational annals of the anus" or "R.E.M.--the concert in my sleep". can't wait teehee

for now let's focus on my conspicuous conscience. and yeah, i do have one, contrary to public opinion. it doesnt pester me on a regular basis. i've been living a very boring life for the past few years. i seldom get excited (that's when i tend to do "silly things", that would make me aware i have a conscience). on the average, you could only hear me shout or shriek, at the most, thrice a year and that's when im watching a thriller/suspense. i never liked such genre, ergo: you wont hear me scream. another thing, i'm more of a phlegmatic (among the other temperaments). i rarely get angry, and if i do, i usually control it. often described "harsh" (that's when i open my big mouth without thinking) and intimidating, i learned to control my emotions, not letting my thoughts "travel" to my lips without utter consideration. most of the time i say bile words sans regret. worst, i rarely (read: close to never) apologize for it.

that's where my conscience comes in. i may not budge but deep inside i, sometimes, am guilt-stricken. not that i regret ever getting off-key or being rude. fact is, i enjoy it. i relish every second berating (they usually deserve it) whomever i hate. the only thing i feel guilty about is, after ranting, it makes me feel bad. i know im not less of a person for feeling such emotion(anger), still, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. like i'm this mean, despicable person everyone secretly detests. for a moment, i would feel crummy, dejected, second-rate denizen. on the contrary, the absence of stoicism leaves me a lingering calm after expressing how i feel. i dunno, like the french would put it, it has a certain je ne sais quoi about it. predictably, my pride would win over the guilt. voila, i'm back to my old obnoxious self....love it!

Posted by maharot 11:27 Comments (1)

confessions of a frigid dweller

this was posted in my older blogs. i cant find the entry though so im writing it from memory. again this is a product of boredom.

-17 °C

Ilang araw ka nang di umuuwi. namimiss na kita. naaalala mo pa ba nung una mo kong nakita sa kahabaan ng avenida? akala mo ikaw ang nauna no? mali ka dun nakita na kitang nagpupunas ng pawis habang patawid kung saan ako nandun. napatitig ka pa sakin noon at napangiti. oh well, the rest is history. nung bago pa lang tayong nagsasama, naappreciate ko ung small gestures like magiiwan ka ng small notes and reminders, tapos you see to it that you check kung ok lang ba sina nanay at tatay sa probinsya.regular ka pa ding nagpapadala ng pang tuition at allowance ni jenny kasi nagpromise ka na ikaw na ang magpapaaral sa kanya. ulirang anak awardee ang chika mo nun. magaling ka ding magluto, malinis ka sa bahay at higit sa lahat, ikaw ang naglalaba. how sweet. ako naman sitting pretty lang lagi. ok naman tayo sa ganun. wala naman tayong pinagaawayan kasi di naman ako mahigpit. kuntento nako sa pagiging maybahay. pinapayagan pa nga kitang magsama ng mga officemates mo at sa bahay na lang maginom. tutal you always clean up after ng inuman. wala akong mahihiling pa. im so blessed to have you.

magiisang taon na din ang nakalipas. madami na din tayong pinagdaanan, and yet you stood by me and vice versa. there were days na parang ang saya2 natin. naghu-hum ka pa minsan habang nagluluto. kahit tambak ang labada, go ka pa din. lagi ka pang bumibili ng dvd tapos papanoorin natin hanggang makatulog ka na sa sala.

sa paglipas ng araw, unti-unti ka nang nagbago. parang laging mainit ang ulo mo pag darating ka from the office.minsan ayaw mo ng kumain at diretso ka na din sa room. di ka na nagiiwan ng small notes like you used to. napilitan tuloy si nanay na lumuwas para mangamusta kasi di mo na din sila tinatawagan. nang dumating sha, halos ayaw mo din shang kausapin. ngayon dalawa na kaming nagaalala sa yo. di ko man masabi, ang bigat2 dalhin pag nakikita kitang ganyan. ayaw mo naman akong kausapin. nung linggong yun, narining ko kayong naguusap ng nanay. di nyo ko napansin kasi nasa sulok ako. all the while na akala ko okay tayo, may nakilala ka na palang iba. officemate mo galing sa pasig branch. matagal na pala kayong may relasyon hanggang bigla ka na lang niya iniwasan ng walang dahilan. di ko alam kung ano mafifeel ko nun. parang nagdilim bigla ang paningin ko at unti unti akong nasuffocate. uminit ang paligid hanggang nawalan na lang ako ng malay.

paggising ko, di ko alam kung nasaan ako. natakot ako. hanggang narining ko na ang boses mo pero di kita makita. may kausap kang lalaki na di ko din mabosesan.

"sorry mr. soriano, wala ng pag-asa. di na natin sha masasave" sabi ng lalaki.

oh my God, am i dying? parang umikot ang paningin ko nun, tapos nagflashback lahat ng happy memories natin. nung binuhat mo ko nung araw na nagkita tayo, pag off mo tapos papaliguan mo ko. lagi kang may pasalubong na food sakin kahit di naman ako buntis. pano na yun? di ko ata kayang mawala ka.

"sir baka naman may magagawa pa" pagmamakaawa mo pa. " di ko kaya, gipit pa naman ngayon"

"wala talaga e. sira na ang freon nito. kailangan na talaga palitan to. luma na pati kaha" sabi pa ng kausap mo.

"gipit na kasi sir e, sa surplus ko lang nabili yan" naghugas ka pa ng kamay lintek ka.

matapos mo akong gamitin, laspagin ng buong taon, basta mo na lang akong ipagpapalit sa iba. wala kang utang na loob huhuhu

"ganun ba? e di bilhin ko na lang, di na to papakinabangan e. sayang lang kung bibili ka pa ng freon. luma na din naman"

mamintas???kala mo kung sino. i bet mukha kang mekaniko!

"sige ho bibili na lang siguro ako ng bagong ref.salamat"


Posted by maharot 12:46 Comments (0)


Rated R: random thoughts about dark vader

sunny -17 °C

ano kayang gagawin mo pag kinulit kita? well, it's a public knowledge na makulit ako pero kung napapansin mo (malamang hindi, kasi mukhang autistic ka naman), di kita mashadong kinikibo. baka kasi mapahiya ako. mukha ka kasing tahimik. pag ba pinatawa kita, matatawa ka?o tititigan mo lang ako like you always do? hmmmm minsan gusto ko na tuloy isiping type moko, chareng lang!! di kana mabiro. natawa ka ba dun? korni ka pag natawa ka dun. pero pag inisip mo, matatawa ka ba kung ayaw mo sakin? ay tama na nga wishful tihnking na to.

parang naging daily challenge ka na nga sa kin e. parang crossword ba. buti pa nga ang crossword, may clue (pag online, may cheats pa). sa yo, tsambahan. wala ka namang sumpong kaso nakakailang ang silence mo. gaya nung nag-soseng's tayo. halos mangisay ako nung nagtext ka na mag-lunch tayo, pramis. feeling ko niyayaya mo na kong magdate (pero syempre alam ko namang hinde talaga, feelingera moment lang yun). natawa nga sila e. bihira kasi ako magshow ng affection o kilig. di kasi bagay. di din kasi sila sanay. baka sila ang atakihin pag bigla akong naging sweet o touchy sayo. kaya as ever, simple machine lang ako (pasimple ba!baka kasi di pa nakarating ang term na yan sa bundok niyo, kagaya nung isang joke ko na tinawanan mo ng katakot-takot, e high school pako joke na yun!)

minsan, ako na nahihiya kasi every time aakyat ako sa room, mauuna ka sa kin , kaya ayoko na tuloy umakyat agad. baka kasi isipin mo inii-stalk kita hanggang pagtulog. actually, uhhhm. minsan tinitingnan kita habang nakapikit ka (o sige na nga , lagi!). basta bago ako pumikit at magdasal (kadalasan, after ko magdasal susulyap pa din ako, lalo kung pikit ka na) di ka naman cute matulog. i've seen better, pero ewan ko ba. pag gising ka naman, tingin ko batang version ka lang ni Berting Labra 1berting.jpg . pero i'm drawn to you. you've always been an enigma, from the day i first saw you. naks!

tanda mo pa ba un? nun bang nasira ang cable namin at nakinood kami sa inyo. ako tanda ko pa. i havent had that feeling for such a long time. we were watching American Idol, and "Luna" and I are messing around. i caught a glimpse of you looking at me. after getting caught, you tried to act normal kahit mukha kang napahiya. then i felt it. yung kilig that i've been missing all these years. yung basta na lang...

no one would believe me at first, even "jules". syempre naman, sabi ko kasi ang kras ko e way hotter than "dax" (na as everybody knows, e manok nila for me at hot na hot sha para sa kanila). when he realized it was you, parang muntik na sha maubo habang nagtu-toothbrush. it didnt change my mind. i started stalking you (chareeeng lang!). minsan nagpunta pako sa office niyo para lang baka sakali e you'll join us for pizza. umakyat daw ng ligaw! sinama ko pa si romie at dax (pero di sha pumayag, sinermonan ako, lintek!). ayun lumipad ang pera ko papuntang kaha ng yellow cab. di pa din ako natinag. nang minsan naginuman kayo, sumama ako kahit di naman ako iinom. e mukhang haggard ka nun kaya naka silent mode ka na naman. after a series of gimmicks, guess what? di pa din tayo close hahaha feeling ko either ayaw mo talaga akong kausap o naiilang ka sakin for unknown reasons.hmmph dedma lang.

hanggang umalis ka na at umuwe ng cebu (huhuhu), only to come back and permanently relocate here. hurray!!! at ayun nga, live -in na tayo (kaw may sabi niyan ha). and the puzzle goes on and on....

sabi nga ni Uncle Sam " I want YOU!" hehehe parang enlistment lang sa Armed Forces. ang TANONG: Do you want me?!?!?!?


Posted by maharot 14:04 Comments (0)

paalam na...

random thoughts during paranoia

-17 °C

in between taking calls and surfing the net, i got an instant message from tabby (*not her real name, her real name is che hahaha) informing me that there's a bomb threat on our building. i tried to maintain my composure and avoided screaming.i dunno what i was thinking then. i grabbed my bag, gave my pesto meal to ian and descended the stairs.each step i take made me heave. random thoughts started flooding;i see flashes of light..chareeng lang.but seriously, i was thinking what would happen if the whole building collapsed.would my loved ones feel the loss?or derma lang kasi derma din naman ako most of the time.

im sure mamimiss ako ni/ng:

mama, kasi im the good child. kahit pa lagi siyang nagmamaktol at lagi niyang pinapaalala ang mga kasalanan ko mula pa nung grade 1 tuwing pag nagaaway sila ni utoy (ang magaling kong kapatid). malamang lalo niyang maiisip na wala ng magaalaga sa kanya pagtanda niya (pinapaalala ko lang ma, matanda ka na ngayon)

romie, kasi wala na shang pagbibigyan ng mga shoes, watches, skin products at kung ano2 pang kalat sa room niya.

mga baler peeps dahil una, mababawasan ang kalat sa lamesa.mababawasan ang CR/Bathroom cleaner; madadagdagan ang monthly bills na babayaran nila

alyanna kasi mawawalan sha ng DYOWA, baka lalo shang malulong sa drugs (oo druggie sha hehehe)

ruthie kasi mababawasan sha ng shock absorber at kunsintidor na housemate

athena kasi di ko na sha mabubugbog at "mapupulaan" sa pagpapantasya niya kay MARK

pardner art na mawawalan na ng kadate every valentines o ang mga araw na kailangan may makasama sha.

dax kasi wala na shang masusuhulan na gawin ang maiitim na balak na sha naman talaga ang may plano...

ana, ang gym buddy ko, kasi wala shang kakamustahin sa text (parang manliligaw sha, panay ang "kamusta ka na?" pag wala shang magawa)

honey dahil wala ng kukunsinti sa kanya sa pagkamartyr niya kay david (ang french niyang pseudo-jowa)

jules kasi wala ng babara sa kanya pag nag-iina sha about hal

naisip ko din ang mga maiiwan ko: mga tao, gamit at higit sa lahat, ang mga bagay na sana nagawa ko bago magpira-piraso ang katawan ko sa pagsabog....

>ang mga balak ko sanang panghaharass kay dark....(ay un ang unang naisip??? hehehe) pero wag na nating i-discuss dito kasi baka di na kayo magbasa ng blogs ko in the future...
>matutong magtennis na machachallenge ang kalaban ko.
>tumugtog ng gitara sa stage, ng di ako kailangang batuhin ng audience dahil magaling ako.at the same time ipagmalaki ako ni utoy kasi ang ate niya e asteeg na rakista (kahit alam ko naman na closet fan ko sha, hindi sa gitara ha... )
>bigyan ng at least 200k si utoy (wala lang, mukha kasi shang pera e)
>regaluhan ng mamahaling hikaw si ninang bilang pasasalamat sa mga tulong niya nung nag-aaral pa ako.
>alagaan si nanay, isang bagay na di ko nagawa nung buhay pa si tatay :(
>regaluhan ng house and lot si mama kasi un ata ang dream niya, pero okay na sakin na proud lang sha sakin. proud, period. no ifs nor buts, just plain proud.
>makabili ng sports car na pula at magdrive sa highway.
> bayaran ang Standard Chartered para di na sila mapagod padalhan ng sulat ang sperm donor (daddy ko) kasi dun naka-address ang billing sa bahay niya.
>at syempre, mabigyan ng apo si mama ng may proof naman na babae din ako hehehe. para din may papalit sa iiwan kong trono.

Posted by maharot 14:58 Archived in Jamaica Comments (1)

kung pwede lang...


minsan naiisip ko kung ano ang consequences kung sasabihin ko ang tumatakbo sa isip ko... im no perv and am not rude either (that's if i can help it) but every now and then, i have an urge to deliver my one-liners which i bet would stop time even for a couple of seconds.....

> psst... tara, laro tayo tonsil hockey! pagalingan!
> hinde nga? malaki??? patingin nga ako!
> parang masarap shang upuan sa mukha...what do u think?
> pantay ba yan?
> masarap luto mo ah. pero mukhang mas masarap ka! (while grinning)
> even ba ang skin tone mo sa buong katawan??
> para ka palang mahogany (maitim e), lalo pag may oil, parang binarnisan lang hahaha
> mukha kang yummy, patikim naman jan!
> totoo ba yang ilong mo? (sasagot: oo) mukha nga, pangong pango e!
> di mo kailangan mag-diet! love yourself!!! pa-lipo ka na pag nakaipon ka!
> malambing/bolero ka siguro...ang gwapo/ganda ng bf/gf mo e.

Posted by maharot 13:28 Comments (0)

love letter to my rapist.....

***this was posted on my old blogsite some eons ago

psst... ako to.alam ko di mo nako matandaan, pero ako yung nakatira sa may tondo, sa may gagalangin.siguro nga limot mo na ko, pero ako, hinde ka pa nawawala sa isip ko. di ko makalimutan yung gabing yun. galing ako sa gym at nagpipig out sa kusina ng bigla kang pumasok. sa gulat ko nabulunan ako sa siopao na kinakain ko at halos mahulog ang tuwalya kong suot. pero di ka man lang na turn off kahit mukha akong bagong panganak. o tanda mo nako? oo ako nga yung huli mong biktima.ok ka lang ba? musta ka na? alam mo namimiss kita, pramis! no one has showered me with that kind of attention.parang sabik na sabik ka sa katawan kong mamasa-masa pa sa pawis kasi nga galing ako sa gym. pero di mo un ininda. sinibasib mo ko ng halik sa kabila ng aking kalagayan.ok din lang sayo kahit flat-chested ako. medyo naconcious pa nga ako sa katawan ko kasi 20 pounds overweight daw ako sa height kong 5'9".ano bang height mo? tingin ko, mga 5'3 ka lang pero dinaig mo pa si manny sa tapang mo. ay si manny pacquiao ang tinutukoy ko.halos di ako makahinga nung bgla mo na lang akong jinombag pero nagpaubaya naman ako sa yo kahit putok na ang labi ko.naisip ko baka ganun ka lang after mong makakiss, karinyo brutal ba! saka medyo tigang na din ako that time.7 years na akong walang bf, no make that 9 kasi dun sa 2 yrs, may mga fling ako pero di naman nagtagal,pagkahawak ng kamay ko naturn off na kasi nga pasmado ako di ba? pero balewala sa yo un.tuloy tuloy ang suntok mo sa sikmura ko. nung nagpretend akong manlaban, nakuha mo pakong sapukin sa panga.pero hwag kang mag-alala, im fine now.sabi naman ni doc maaayos pa daw yung nadislocate kong panga. papagaling na din ung sinaksak mo ng ice pick.actually di mo na sana ginawa yun kasi di naman ako manlalaban mashado.pa-effect lang yun no.ooops don't get me wrong no, im not mad,flattered pa nga ako kasi sa dinamidami ng populasyon ng tondo, bahay ko pa ang napili mong pasukin. pero tell me, nagkataon lang ba yun o tlagang ako ang target mo? hehehe feeling ba? im sorry, i don't mean it to sound that way, siguro im just overwhelmed by the incident.pero in fairness ha, i cant get you out of my mind, feeling ko we're soulmates, as in. mula nga nun di na ko tumatambay sa kanto para magpacute sa mga boarders ni aling inday,di na din ako nagkakakain ng isaw kasi baka lalo pa kong tumaba.nakakahiya naman sayo kasi baka paglaya mo, maisipan mo ako ulit dalawin, baka lang naman hehehe. nga pala pwede ba kitang dalawin? kasi minsan, namimiss kita e lalo pa't 7 weeks na ang nakakalipas nung huli kitang makita sa police station.ayaw ko naman sanang magfile ng complaint since di naman nga ako model para maginarte ng ganun at di naman "face" ang investment ko, talent lang.so wala ka namang damage na nagawa,napaaga pa nga ang vacation ko because of the surgery. ang hirap pa namang magfile ng leave ngayon kasi nga summer di ba so lahat ng tao may i go sa beach.yun nga lang sa hospital ako nagstay ng 5 weeks after the operation.pero that's all water under the bridge now. ang mahalaga maayos ka at okay nako.nga pala baka gusto mong magbenta diyan sa loob ng cologne, yung mga imitation.kagaya yun ng amoy ko nung pinasok moko.medyo nahaluan lang ng pawis kaya maasim-asim ang amoy, pero pramis mabango yun pag ibang tao ang gumamit.o ano...text moko ha 0919-853-9928 ciao!

hopelessly waiting,

Edward pero just call me Edz

Posted by maharot 20:39 Comments (0)

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