A Travellerspoint blog

me me me

im telling my imaginary kid something about myself...

while boring myself talking to customers who are either dumb or so sure of themselves (even if they dont know what internet explorer is but insist that they are tech-savy), i stumbled upon a blog about "things people dont know about you". just to have a twist, i decided to have a list for my unborn kid (no im not expecting. i'd love to, but im not pregnant...yet) assuming he/she would be born...

here goes:

1. i'm crazy about coketeabreak_coke.jpg and any chance i get, i'd drink coke instead of water. with that, a cigarette stuck between my index and middle finger cig.jpg.... that would be a heavenly day for me. i can consume 2-3L of coke a day and a pack and a half of cigarettes. only a miracle can stand between me and my bad vices...YOU! :)

2. i had my hair shaved twice GI-Jane-Demi-Moore_l.jpg. once in college, when sasa and mikhail convinced me that i would look like a model(???) if i opted for the "alternative" look. guess what, they were wrong! i look like an army reject. and tito utoy, then 4 years old, got the shock of his life when he saw me. he nearly cried. the last time was when i joined the navy, every one of us in our batch was bald so i didnt feel any different.

3. i used to play volleyball in college. and was at one time the team captain (woohoo).

4. i love to read. this started in college when pouchita brought some books, from her mom's stacks. even pogi and babsy started reading mills and boon novels. now, i find mystery and action-packed novels more engaging. i have a collection of books in every house/apartment/condo i stayed in. i could acquire 3 to 5 books in a week and read them as well, with comprehension :).

5. friends back in highschool calls me big ethel (in reference to the archie comics character). im tall, lanky, stick-thin with my hair tied with a scoongie (or whatever they call it) just above my forehead. all thru-out HS, i had my hair cut really short.

6. never had any "relationship" with the same sex considering i was enrolled in an exclusive school. a few "girls" tried to woo me, thinking i was into girls as well but it wasnt my thing back then (hell, even now!).

7. im crazy about aling nel's baked mac and choco chip brownies. any paulinian digs it. it's quite cheap but really yummy.

8. when mama realized i was in an extended "bum" mode, she urged me to join the navy as an athlete, unaware that i would be playing with former RP team members. i ended up as a water girl instead. i volunteered actually, instead of being hit in the face, or any part of my body for that matter. they were SEA Games champions during their time.

9. i had my first boyfriend when i was 25, but kissed 7 guys before him (unofficial playmates hehehe). his name is harvey and he was my batchmate in the navy.

10. i was a late bloomer. had my first kiss march 12, 1994.

11. was so effing drunk, i didnt care that someone else was in the room. didnt ask him if he saw anything hahaha.

12. i remained friends with most of my "exes/playmates". you should congratulate them for bearing with my crankiness.

13. i love to cook. you'll realize that when you grow up. or grow BIG for that matter.

14. i love the scent of fresh linen (not the downly-soaked ones) and the bathroom too, after someone took a bath.

15. i find men who wear white crew-neck shirts and PJs to bed, sexy! and when they smell of soap after taking a shower.

16. id go for sexy rather than handsome guys. but humour and IQ would get a STAR in my scorecard.

17. short guys are out of the question.

18. im a non-conformist. i rarely give in to peer pressure.

19. im a frustrated tennis player.. i tried playing tennis in college but was stupid not to enroll. i chose table tennis, swimming & taekwondo instead (for my PE 2).

20. had a blast with taekwondo. my teacher is ricky santiago, a former RP team player with 3-dans under his belt. and good looks to boot. i cant control my smile whenever he's around. thanks to him i have a yellow belt in the art. had my promotion with a bunch of pre-schoolers. i stuck out like a sore thumb. impressed with nanay now?hahaha

21. ive always wanted to be a plain housewife. since i was a kid, i was secretly hoping i'd come home after school with mama offering me with a glass of NIDO, just like they(moms) did in the commercials.

22. i wanted to be a pediatrician. im crazy about kids.....until tito utoy came along. he was a bratty one.i would like to wring his neck most of the time. i decided i'd take up journalism instead at UP Diliman. but that would mean living with relatives in Sikatuna. i prefer to go to LB instead and take up Human Ecology. sounds like it doesnt have math in its curriculum...again, im wrong!

23. i enjoyed college life so much i stayed in LB for 9 years hehehe. during my 1st semester, i dropped my biology and algebra class. took Math 33 (math 11 x3) and Bio 6 (bio 1 x 2, bio 2 x 2). i love dropping my classes. id rather sleep than dissect amphibians and insects, or have a nose bleed over the Venn diagram. i hope you'll never get that habit, both the dropping of subjects and mutilating living organisms.

24. of all my PhySci (Physical Science Bldg) subjects, i love Chemistry the most. i got a grade of 2.0. one take. so proud of myself. you'll understand why if you study in UP and if you inherited my mathematical prowess.

25. i'm always itching to buy a new notebook. wrap it in a cool wrapper or cover it with newspaper so it would look different.then id write how the day went. heck, i could write my week's journey, then eventually forget i have a diary.

26. i was never gifted with "gaming" skills. the skills needed to play PSP, DOTA, xbox. or maybe im just not interested. back when nintendo and atari were the craze in town, i never had any urge to ask mama to buy me one. i guess i easily lost interest when it comes to that. i prefer sports or street games like tumbang preso tumbang-preso.jpg, shato (a game where you hit a stick with a longer one. the goal is to hit the stick as hard and as far as you can and measure the length using the longer stick) and my personal peborit, sipa! sipa.jpg many summers ago, our tandem (sheila and nanay) would draw boys from different phases, mostly school busmates, just to play with us.and boy, we are good!sheila with her dependable kaypee and me with my dunlop shoes, could send the washers (we use tingga back then) into outer space.kidding! only a block away; like from ate mai's house to the penaranda's down the street. that would be 4-5 houses away. sometimes it be stuck on aling lucy's roof :(.

27. im a fag-hag. go figure! love_gay.jpg

28. i read harry potter 3 & 4 via palm pilot.a gift from tita romie.

29. romie is my sugar momma. she showers me with gifts i wouldn't even think of buying (except for the paul smith wallet). wallet.jpg watches, branded shoes, bags etc. name it, she has already given me those.

30. i'm always excited to buy shower soap. even the local ones. i cant wait to use them.same thing with ballpens. im always excited to write with my new pen. mostly gibberish!hahaha

31. im a laid back person, bordering on paraplegia hehehe. i used to be hyper in my younger days. but lately, id rather stay at home and wait for my legs to numb while staring at my monitor.

32. i weaned myself from music boxes and stuff toys when i started college. i had with me my fisher price music box (i had it when i was 4 yo) and tiger (it doesnt have a name really, but it's a tiger). the fisher price toy plays "it's a small world" while tiger plays "brahm's lullaby". the first time i got drunk, they cant make me sleep until i can get my hands on my "stuff". hopefully, you wont get that habit, esp if you're a boy.

33. i cant sleep without a "dantayan" and a blanket. ill toss and turn if that'll happen. and i prefer lights out when i sleep at night.

34. i'm a spa/massage addict. if possible, i'd have it 3x a week. i did that once, when i was on leave for a week.

35. i normally doze off right after i turn off the alarm. that varies from 10 mins to 10 hours hahaha. comatose mode ang tawag dun at malamang AWOL ako sa work pag nagkaganun.

36. im not a sweet person so dont expect any sugar-coated comments from me. you won't be babied. i'll treat you the same way i treat my friends. be warned! wahaha

37. ive always criticized tagalog movies but im a sucker for bea-john lloyd tandem jlc_bea.jpg. and star cinema-produced movies as well. normally, i enjoy mystery, action, anything with a twisted plot. never liked movies concerning aliens or sci-fi flicks.

38. i have been living away from home since college. i've stayed at diff dorms/apartment since then. UPLB Women's dorm womens_dorm.jpg Catalan compound, Bose dorm, White House, Raymundo st., Palm Tower Condo palm_tower.jpg and eventually the Baler Mansion.

39. when i was 4, i stuck a champoy seed up my nostril (the right one). mama had to bring me to a specialist and had them do a minor operation on my nose. unfortunately, it didnt reduce the size of my nose.

40. im more comfortable with guys than i am with girls. i wont take crap from any girl, or guys even. hence, i got more gay friends hehehe

41. i have very limited threshold for pain. i can mutilate myself in many ways but i cant imagine how painful it is to have sex. ergo, im stll a virgin. sad to say i havent met your tatay.hopefully i can update this blog with his "codename".

42. im northpawed but i use my left foot to play sipa. if i get famous, they can make me a movie "maharot's left foot"

43. i dont eat "taba" kahit sa barbeque. i could only ingest it if it's very soft (like boiled, as in sinigang) and only in small portions. but i can consume a pack of chicharon (with laman--LAPID'S) in one sitting.

44. i was never tech savy.i can troubleshoot but would have a hard time explaining what needs to be done and why.

45. i was never a fashionista. my wardrobe is limited to the classics. i love basic colors, lately i have black blouses to hide my figure coz im chunky all-over hahahaha.

46. im a jeans person.

47. i'm very comfortable with sandals. open-toed preferably. brown_20sandals.jpg

48. i rarely snore but i grind my teeth when i sleep...

49. i fell from a 15 ft pole when i had undergone an anti-terrorist training. good thing, nothing was damaged. i hope...

50. i rarely wear make-up. just lipstick and pressed powder.

51. it takes me 5-10 minutes to take a bath. 20-25 to use the c.r.

52. i started ovulating when i was 14 yrs old, so i have to have you before i turn 44 (??)

53. i can read a whole book in one sitting.

54. i dont handle stress well so i try to stay away from complicated situations.

55. but i can complicate a math problem in a thousand and one ways.

56. i was introduced to finger math, that's multiplying using your fingers, a few months ago.

57. i like to design my own library (sa bahay lang naman). a fine bookshelf will do for my books.

58. if i had my way, i'd always be barefoot. i prefer comfy shoes over stylish ones.

59. im not very fond of rubber shoes.

60. i liken the gym to birthdays/anniversaries...... they only happen once a year hahaha

61. i can eat even if i still feel full. im an orally fixated individual.

62. i require small frequent feeding. im an oversized baby. who wants to have one hehehe.

63. i prefer the stress-free, boring over the exciting stressfull life.

64. when i was a kid, i can swim back and forth (a 15-m pool) without getting air. so many things have changed. now, i can swim without water, when i get drunk!

65. back in college, i can do a series of somersaults when im on a liquor binge!

66. i didnt undergo basic military training when i joined the navy.

67. im special...they call it special enlistment.you get your serial number before you undergo training and will get paid as a regular enlisted personnel.

68. only athletes and SWAG (our US NAVY SEALS counterpart) are allowed to do that.

69. was supposed to take airborne class but was (still am) afraid of heights.

70. i prefer sour and salty to anything sweet. kaya nga ako mahilig sa champoy, kiamoy, kikiam (yung orig ha) at lahat ng maalat na maasim...eeew!hahaha

71. kaya naimbento ko din ang famous adolat (adobong maalat!)

72. my favorite action movie is the usual suspects, pero bihira ko shang panoorin. pero lagi kong binibida sa ibang tao na iwatch nila.

73. there was a time that i got addicted to korean movies. yung mga love stories na laging may binubuhat na babae sa likod. trademark na ata nila yun. i have 2 favorites: my sassy girl and a moment to remember--parang drama version ng 50 first dates.

74. i prefer old movies (80s, 90s) over the new ones. except for the mystery/action genre.

75. i go gaga over romantic men. kahit di ako ang winu-woo nila. i remember feeling nostalgic over bumbay's video for his wife. how sweet!and he does that every now and then.

76. i wanted to be a duck when i was 4 years old.dont ask why. rubber_ducks.jpg

77. i just love sampalok!any variant will do.

78. i nearly crashed my cousin's vehicle while talking to my ex (we weren't an item that time), i got so excited i began swerving towards the wrong lane.

79. i wanted to be a member of the jollibee crew back in college (incidentally, the barangay/town is called COLLEGE ergo, college, laguna).i like the idea of being a working student. i got that wish (not the jollibee crew). i was in the navy when i decided to study again.took up BS Business Administration.

80. im a frustrated singer. rockstar more like it. ive been struggling to learn to play the guitar but has no time to enroll. and besides it's too expensive.

81. i sometimes daydream that im performing in a concert.. with people shouting "more".

82. i prefer acoustic songs.

83. im not very fond of musicals. but i love "chicago" chicago.jpg

84. i can speak ilonggo when im drunk ( i havent had any practice though). and a little cebuano.very little...

85. im crazy about hugh jackman, gerard butler, clive owen, ananda everingham and alexander skarsgard. in that order.but im confused over who comes first--clive or gerard.

86. my baon in gradeschool is Php 1.00. (imagine mo kung ano mabibili dun, kulang pa pang-yosi!tutal di pa naman ako nagyoyosi noon hehehe)

87. my shoe size is 9.5.

88. never liked techno music.

89. the only song i can play is "all i want is you" by U2 (acoustic guitar)

90. i love chinese cuisine.

91. i prefer shrimp over crabs.

92. im allergic to extreme weather conditions. i get allergies when it's either too hot or too cold.

93. i contacted chicken pox when i was already 27 years old.

94. never had mumps nor measles.

95. im a lolo's girl :(

96. given a chance, id love to try surfing.

97. im hoping to find a sperm donor this year. and plan to have you.......with or without their consent hahaha

98. im planning to name you ah...hmmm... basta 5 letters ang maximum hehehe. ayoko ng junior. malamang kapangalan ka ng isang friend ko.ke girl ka o boy.

99. i love androgynous names...

100. id like to be inlove again...ang tanong kanino???

101. i cant wait to see you *wink*

Posted by maharot 19:42 Comments (0)

"Ascetic" acid

random thoughts on bitterness, pride and chastity, hehehe

sa may umpukan.....

tetchie: so sister, kamusta na ang mga boylet mo?
maharot:huh? ano yun nakakain ba yun?
art: hehehe ayoko na sumagot...
maharot: nirereserve ko yan hehehe.pero oo nga, nakakain din pala yun wahahaha pero wala akong boylet.
a: si dax musta na?
silence...
a: aba mukhang there's trouble in paradise hehehe so anong pinagawayan nyo?
m: wala naman.
t: sino to? si ex crush ko ba yan? (talking to her australian husband) honey, maharot's BFF is a crush of mine in college. but i can feel the sexual tension between them hahaha
adrian: hmmm that's good
m: tension is never good. i just lost my interest.
a: that's new!alam mo ba na pinagisipan pa niya kami na may affair kami ni dax??
t: bat naman?
m: naisip ko lang basta hahaha
a:samantalang sila lagi magkasama at bihira kami magtext ni dax
t: e bat nga kayo nag-away?
m: di kami nagaway. nagtampo lang ako.
a:ayun naman may tampuhan na.
m: kasi naman e di niya sinasagot tawag ko tapos ni hindi man lang nagtanong kung bakit ako tumatawag hmp
t: hahaha gf??
m: oo e dati naman magtetext sha e.tatanungin kung may problema ba ako.ah basta d ko sha itetext.kala niya ha.
a: ako tetext ko sha sabihin ko kasama kita.
m: wag na!yaan mo sha.maya isipin pa nun nagpapapansin tayo.
a: kita mo ikaw, e normally nagtetext naman tayo pag magkasama tayo. malay mo magpunta pa yun.
m: ayoko shang kasama!
a:wushu tampo ka talaga ah.
m: talaga. naisip ko pa nagpramis kami na di kami magaaway! hmmp. pag yan nalaman ko na dahil lang sa "strolling" ko EOF na to.
a: anong EOF?
m: End of Friendship!
a: hahaha may poot? bitter_ocampo.jpg
m: ayoko na shang pag-usapan....

(as of presstime, bati na kami ulit hehehe)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
via facebook chat...

bab: johnny!!! (that's how he fondly calls me, bestfriend johnny)
me: baaaaaabsy!! musta?
b: ok naman eto duty (he's a doctor).kaw
m: eto bored. lam mo kagabi, papasok ako office naisip ko, ano kaya pipiliin ko, "stress-free yet boring life" or exciting but stressfull"? hahaha
b: syempre exciting!
m: naaah i dont handle stress gracefully, kawawa naman ang mga nakapaligid sa king tao.
b: hahahaha
m: tawa ka jan! ngayon ngang di ako stressed nakakaintimidate nako e what more kung mainit ulo ko?!
b: un lang!
m: haaay kabato!
b: ok lang yan johnny kaw pa, kaya mo yan!
m: huh?wala naman ako problema bab. ok ako.
b: simple lang yan johnny.
m: ang ano?wala akong problema bab. ok ako.as in.
b: kasi naman madali lang yan.may mahahanap ka din.
m: na?ano ba tong tinutukoy mo boys?hindi ako naghahanap no!
b: hahaha
m: meron nga, napakabata naman.magiging cougar ako aba 25 lang!
b: ayaw mo nun? yaan mo sila maglaway!
m: eeeeh naglalaway din ako wahahaha
after a few minutes....
m: o sha aalis pa ko babush amishu mwaaaah!

--hay ang mga kaibigan kong lalaki di mo malaman kung ano. may manong, may bulgar, may matampuhin...bahala nga sila
--------------------------------------------
isang hapon....
ruthie:di ba sumasakit ang puson mo sa ginagawa mo?
me: di naman. bakit? lalaki lang sumasakit ang puson..
r: di kaya!
m: so ikaw sumasakit??
r: meron e. pero di ko maexplain yung feeling.

(she may have forgotten, i dont have feelings hahahaha)

  • **trivia: ruthie is my exact opposite when it comes to PAIN. i would cringe with the mere thought of having a brazilian, while she endured labor pains via normal delivery sans anaesthesia. feeling ko kaya din niyang magparoot canal ng wala nun kaso sobrang terrified sha sa injection at sa sight ng dugo. magmumukha shang epileptic pag nakakita sha ng dugo kahit sa kanya pa, basta galing to sa sugat. on the contrary, i can endure the pain of injection and other self inflicted pain (nope im not suicidal, homicidal pwede pa), like kaya ko kutkutin ang kuko ko hanggat magdugo at mamaga, only to pick it up the next day..ang saya2! emotionally, i rarely get affected kasi siguro wala akong lovelife na iiyakan. pero si ruthie, alam mo agad pag depressed kasi di niya to maitago. kung paano ko di maitago ang galit ko, ganun din sha sa sadness niya...

going back...
m: ay ewan ko la naman ako nafifeel e. in fairness masaya naman ang (mis) adventures ko.kaso gusto ko ng umuwe agad kasi nagpapapresyo pa. matutulog na daw sha at manood na lang daw ako ng serendipity. kamusta naman!?!?!
r:huwaaat?
m: so di ako nagcomment pero naisip ko, nagiinarte ka pa ha. sige patigasan tayo. tingnan natin kung sino makakatikim sa tin ng walk-out.
r: ano ginawa mo?
m: e di deadma at nanood, masunurin naman ako e. sha din naman sumuko tapos pinapalapit ako. umurong lang ako ng konti e ang layo ko pa daw.ang arte di ba!kikiss din naman sa pisngi.at nagpapakiss pa nampotah. baby lang?!
r: hmmm
m: di niya ko gusto, dont give me that look. at di ko din naman sha gusto. ang gusto ko lang e fun na pwede niyang ioffer. and besides maiba naman. (--->lagi na lang ako prim and proper, iniisip na ng mga tao na prude ako hehehe so NOT true!)
r: true!ako di ako nagkikiss pag di ko mahal...
m: pokpok??hahaha di ba ganun sa movies, yung mga pokpok, no kissing allowed (i was probably thinking of "pretty woman")
chastity.jpg

r: ewan ko ako lang ayoko kasi la love.
m: actually, di nga kami compatible e, sa pseudo-sexual activities na yan. very pornstar sha hahaha
r: bakit naman?
m: bulungan portion (kasi censored) wahahaha
censored.jpg

r: infernes...
m: ewan ko ba lagi na lang may comedy na nangyayari sakin. feeling ko talaga caregiver sha at ako e may cerebral palsy kaya sha ang gumawa ng ganun.(while telling her the whole scenario, naimagine ko yung itsura ko, parang quadriplegic lang pramis). bulong pa sha ng bulong, di ko naman naririnig (di dahil bingi ako ha pero ang hina ng boses niya) until narining ko na din at last "don't worry" daw! ampotah ano tingin niya sa kin high school?
r: hahaha
m: pero you know what? i could have....
r:weh?
m: oo nga kasi sa lahat naman ng nakilala ko kahit sa bf, it always takes a lot of getting used to, pero parang natural lang that time. maiisip mo ba akong maglalakad ng nakabold?
r: hahaha
m: gaya2 lang.kung kaya niya, kaya ko din! pagpunta ko cr bitbit ko lang panty ko at parang naglalakad ako magisa sa room.derma(deadma) ako sa presence niya!pagbalik ko nakapanty nako at nagkwentuhan ng parang fully clothed kaso topless kami pareho hahaha.swete sha shy type ako kundi, rape victim sha sana. iniisip ko na nun, ano kaya kung harassin ko sha? kaso naisip ko baka naman isipin niya atat na atat ako sa kanya.
r: di ba?
m: di naman mashadow, pero gusto ko lang matry makapangharass.natatakot lang ako kasi baka ako maging victim sa huli.saka ayoko naman magpaasa sa wala.sasaktan lang sha ng puson sa kin :( kawawa naman. (oha improving, naaawa na ko ngayon hahaha) at dahil wholesome ako, natulog kaming parang magkapatid hehehe
r: tingin ko bibigay ka din.mga 4 tries pa.
m: naisip ko na yan din noon pa. na kung masasanay ako sa paghuhubo, pasasaan bat magiging pornstar na din ako.....wahahahaha

Posted by maharot 17:25 Comments (0)

movie lines

si val, si val, si val...si val na walang malay. -saan nagtatago ang pagibig

anna.jpg
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
-anna scott, notting hill

alice.jpg
Dan: Didn't fancy my sandwiches?
Alice: Don't eat fish.
Dan: Why not?
Alice: Fish piss in the sea.
Dan: So do children.
Alice: I don't eat children either.
-closer

alice: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off... but it's better if you do
-closer

closer.jpg
larry: Don't say it! Don't you fucking say I'm too good for you. I am, but don't say it.
-closer

kat.jpg
kat:I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
-10 things i hate about you

john.jpg
john: I find you very attractive. Your aggressive moves towards me indicates that you feel the same way, however ritual requires that we engage in a number of platonic activities before we have sex. I am proceeding with those activities when, in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible. You going to slap me now?
-a beautiful mind

carol.jpg
carol: When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then, of course, you spoke.
-as good as it gets

4love_story.jpg
Oliver Barrett IV: Hey what makes you so sure I went to prep school?
Jennifer Cavelleri: You look stupid and rich.
Oliver Barrett IV: Actually I'm smart and poor.
Jennifer Cavelleri: Uh-uh, I'm smart and poor.
Oliver Barrett IV: What makes you so smart?
Jennifer Cavelleri: I wouldn't go for coffee with you.
Oliver Barrett IV: Yeah well I wouldn't ask you.
Jennifer Cavelleri: Well, that's what makes you stupid.
-love story

Jennifer Cavelleri: You're gonna flunk out if you don't study.
Oliver Barrett IV: I am studying.
Jennifer Cavelleri: Bullshit. You're looking at my legs.
Oliver Barrett IV: You know, Jenny, you're not that great looking.
Jennifer Cavelleri: I know. But can I help it if you think so?
-love story

sassy.jpg
charlie bellows: If we never see each other again, and one day, you feel a certain presence beside you... that would be me, loving you wherever I am...
- my sassy girl

jules.jpg
Julianne: In the beginning it was mostly this prior claim, he belonged to me. But now, when I'm with him, he's just so wonderful. How come I never knew that when I could have had him?
George: It's amazing, the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.
-my bestfriend's wedding

Julianne: I have done nothing but under-handed, despicable, not even terribly imaginative things since I got here. But I was... Michael, I was just trying to... to win you. To win you back. But that doesn't excuse any of it. I'm... pond scum. Well, lower actually, I'm like the fungus the feeds on pond scum.
Michael: Lower. The pus that infects the mucus, that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum... On the other hand, thank you. For loving me that much, that way, it's pretty flattering.
Julianne: Except it makes me fungus.
Michael: Well, that part I knew.
-my bestfriend's wedding

Posted by maharot 08:04 Comments (0)

the proposal part 1

planning sucks!

im not sure if im just having hormonal imbalance or ive completely lost my mind (i forgot, this is a given). im planning to propose to my prospective sperm donor..thing is, i dunno how. i mean how do u tell someone that you are serious about having kids and not having a husband.and youre telling this to the person you are proposing to...! not only that, how do u say it in a manner that he'll take u seriously and not have gas laughing about the idea? how about thru text...
text.jpg

or via phone...
me: free ka ba?
sperm donor: huh?
me: makipagsex?
s.d.: hahaha misent! lasing ka ba?

ayan ang nakikinita ko ng scenario knowing him...e kung face to face kaya...

m: busy ka ba?
s.d.: depende.
m: i mean 3Gs. wala ka bang ginagawa, game, girls??
s.d: wala nga e.

ok, nabblanko na isip ko kung ano follow up question!! e kung romantic kaya?naaaaaaaah di ko ata kayang maging romantic sa kanya. sweet pede pa.o kaya daanin ko na lang sa patawa?

m: wanna have coffee then sex?
s.d: huwaaaw! wahahahaha kailan?

maninigas na naman ako kasi di ko lam kung ano isasagot. the problem is, i know i wanna have a baby but i dont know how to go through the process. i think kailangan ko ng sangkatutak na alak. not that it would be an excuse kasi i know what im doing when im drunk. yun nga lang malakas na loob ko. isa pa, pano kung di sha pumayag? kung papayag naman, madami yung kaartehan e. di ako magtataka kung hihingi sha ng floor show o kaya bugbugan muna kami waaaaaaah. yoko ng additional sakit ng katawan. i tried to sleep tapos nanaginip ako. parang favorable naman ang dream ko. nothing sensual really hehehe. i called to unagi to ask what words to use or how to go thru the proposal, not that he's an expert but i think he's the only straight guy left of my close friends.

unagi: seryoso ka ba?
m: oo naman no.alam mo naman yun ang plano ko sa kanya e.
u: bat di sa sunday na lang pagkatapos ng gimik
m: meron ako e, malabo yun. saka ano, free ride?? sabi ko naman sa kanya dati isang beses lang namin gagawin e
u: di naman nagagwa yun ng isang beses
m: eeeeeeh feeling ko naman buntisin(???) ako e, regular ako magkaron e
u: oo nga kaso di ganun kadali yun.
m: yun nga lang. e ngayon pa lang di ko na lam kung pano kami gagawa ng baby.kailangan ko ng alak!kaso di naman madali malasing yun. dati isang vodka kami 2, hanggang the next day sumusuka pa ko pagkagising e. samantalang sha, after nun, inubos pa ang isang san miguel na blue sila nung pinsan niya tapos kinakaladkad pako mag beer ulit.gudlak!
u: ah malakas ba uminom?
m: oo. isa pa un, gagaguhin ako nun pag lasing na ko. baka kung ano2 pa demands kasi dati nung una kong sinabi yung plan ko, sabi niya dapat twice a year magpapractice kami, kasi nga diba in 3 yrs time ko pa balak nung una kong binanggit sa kanya.sabi ba naman para daw di ko hanap-hanapin! haller!?! ako pa pala ang maghahanap. duh?!
u: e pano kung after nung iwasan ka na niya?
m: bat naman miya gagawin yun?
u: may ganung lalaki e.
m: di mabuti.di sha makikialam sa pagpapalaki ko ng baby ko. baka pati pangalan makialam sha e. gusto ko 4 leter name lang para di hirap magsulat. gusto ko sana name niya pero ayoko ng junior! (lahat ata ng junior na kilala ko naging wasted youth hahaha). di din naman ako hihingi ng kung ano sa kanya.
u: e pano kung di pumayag?
m: aawayin ko sya, para konting sperm lang pagdadamot pa, e ang dami na niyang nasayang sa tissue, kama, cr o kung san man nagsitalsikan ang mga nilabas niya dati.
u: hahaha yun pala e.tingin mo papayag?
m:pumayag naman sha dati e. nung niretract ko na yung pact, tinanong lang niya kung bakit. tapos napagusapan lang namin nung lumabas kami nina jude a few months ago.
u: e di sa card mo sabihin para di nakakahiya
m: never naman ako nahiya sa kanya e kahit gaano pa ka bastos ang usapan di naman kami naiilang.ang corny ng card ha, ano manliligaw?
u: e di ganito, lahat ng sasabihin mo lagay mo sa card tapos suksukan mo ng condom!
m: duh?! condom e gusto ko nga magkababy e!
u: di yung butas na condom lagay mo
m: eeeeeh
u: basta text moko kung ano mangyari sa pagpropropose mo ha...

Posted by maharot 10:14 Comments (0)

amore

so many men, so little time ......to think about them.

If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love.

-Sir Walter Raleigh
The Nymph's reply to the Sheperd

i'm in love, for the nth time i guess hehehe. i watched the ugly truth and fell for gerard's character mike, whose cynicism about love embodies most (heart-broken) people's perception of how relationships get fucked up eventually. he's the "get it down and dirty" type of guy, who evntually falls for an anal retentive control freak, abby, catherine heigl's character. ive graduated from chick flicks but i enjoyed this one. it's nice to see guys at a loss for words sometimes. the dancing part was sexy but the elevator moment was sexier!i always have those awkward moments when you want to do something stupid. im just afraid i'll regret it the next day, or worse, immediately after. heniways, a day went by and there i was, watching gerry again in tomb raider 2. it was unintentional, my homies chose it over tomb raider 1. i was in for a big surprise...his bod resembles king leonidas' but the face was, well, softer. or should i say hotter! it was smaller, "less muscled" if i may say so. which also reminds me of a beefy version of matthew fox. gboy.jpg

another love of my life is clive owen. i love him in closer.especially the part he's begging for julia to stay with him and began crying. i havent cried watching a love story i cant relate with;very seldom. but seeing him cry, i cried on cue. his character larry seemed to be the guy i could spend my whole life with: funny,smart, good looking, not to mention sexy. he exudes raw sexuality. he's not as good-looking as most action stars but he's just sexy. perhaps it's the smile or how he talks. i only discovered now that a guy's voice or accent makes him sexy. i started noticing gerard when i saw him in P.S. I love you. the accent made me melt. even with jeffrey dean morgan's character, william. i like irish better, i think, even if i dont really understand what they're saying hahaha. tutal if my dreams come true, i won't let them talk anyway.

i told dax about it and being the pervert that he is, our conversation went from just a plain profession of my feelings to oh well a different story.
clive.jpg
gerry.jpg

m: im in luuuuuuuurve
d: wat? agen?
m: nalilito ako between clive and gerard. pero id take them in a heartbeat if they ask me to have a wild steamy sex with them!
d: hahaha kahit sabay sa p*p* at sa p*et?
m: im sorry i dont do 3somes. ill get confused who to moan for...
d: ay tabla!
m: di ako pwede sa ganun malilito ako. must be the weather. kung ano2 naiisip ko.
d: bad yan!
m: dahil walang action??? hmmm i could go to london and be clive's concubine or to new york to be gerard's effing whore..am i brilliant or wat???
d: or wat!?!

i told unagi about it and he said " ang halay naman". told him he's always been a pervert and im used to it. he's not the shy type hahaha.rereypin ko na yun e! then he said "try mo...baby time!!". told him im just thinking of the right words but i fell asleep hahaha. i woke up sad. i didnt even see gerry and clive in my dreams, instead i saw eddie garcia with 3 wives. parang mala-dynasty ang setting ng panaginip ko. awayan ng mga misis ni eddie garcia. too bad i cant remember everything hehehe. buti na lang di ako kasma sa cast!

Posted by maharot 10:57 Archived in Jamaica Comments (0)

Nikita

"Don't say it! Don't you fucking say I'm too good for you. I am, but don't say it" - Larry, played by Clive Owen in the 2004 film CLOSER

i got to the office 45 minutes earlier than my shift. i lil groggy due to lack of sleep, i was greeted by male colleagues who teased "aba, himala ang aga mo ah" to which i replied, "ulol lagi akong maaga, pag hindi, ibig sabihin di nako papasok! hahaha"

they laughed and started talking about me as if im not there.

baldie.jpgnicholo: yan ang magandang girlfriend, cool na cool!yun nga lang pag nagkamali ka bugbog agad! (laughter)

i pretended not to hear them and faced my slower than molasses pc. the conversation continued until i heard the words angelina jolie, suabe, and Assasin. thinking they were referring to my kinda guy...

maharot: ha? di ako mahilig sa bad boys no.gusto ko lang manly.
benjie: ano?
m: ano bang pinaguusapan nyo? yung type kong guy?
gun.jpg nichollo: hinde! sabi namin, ikaw yung tipong matapang, yung parang pang action movie na spy o kaya mala angelina jolie type na babae sa movies
m: so ako pala yung Assasin? sorry, more of a serial killer hahaha.

hmmm i forgot to thank them for the angelina likeness ( i know it's not in the looks department, but i get the drift). wanted2.jpgpero medyo napaisip ako. mukha pala akong assasin??? not that im bothered since they (nichollo, jessie and benjie) are not prospects and they're all happily taken and not my "bet" too. i know im intimidating but i never liked guns.not when i was in the navy and definitely not now. i did some shooting from rifles and .45 caliber, and i could disassemble both in a considerable amount of time ( it was a requirement for an anti-terrorist course i took back then). but contrary to public opinion, i didnt get tough because i was a soldier. i barely left the office, aside from that month long training i had. back in elementary, i would pick fights with boys, be friends with them.

i was never the "girlie" type, more like one of the boys. boys would fall in line just to play with me and my friend shei (o huwag madumi ang utak, magaling kami magsipa, the one with thick washers aka tingga). black magic, tulpit - that's what we call it when you can kick the washer for more than 15-20 meters away. i can hit it with my elbow, knees or the part of the arm that bends- humerus, but i do it best using my left foot, which seemed strange since im right handed. i dont know how it's called, ambidextrous is for the hands. ah basta all i know is that im usually ambivalent hahaha.

i really dont know what caused my so-called "toughness". perhaps it started when i was hanging out with boys early on. initially (that's after i realized that there's more to childhood than talking to yourself hahaha. i was an only child back then and i never had an imaginary friend, so i talk to myself teehee), i have 3 friends who are cousins, chris and charlie, and chris' sister tin. usually the games we play are for boys. tin though, being 5 years ahead of me got conscious so she stopped playing rough games with us. i was then left with the boys. when we transferred to manila, we used to play chato/shato, tatsing (touching? hehe) and roleplaying bioman characters. we're 5: shei, carrie, anton, rich and yours truly. since bioman only has 2 girls, shei and carrie would fight over who pink 5 will be. since at that age i already resent conflict, i opted to be blue 3. anton and rich fought a lot about who will be red 1, so i dont have any choice. im taller than all of them and very lanky at that. no boobies at all (i was 11), so i dont have any trouble taking the role meant for a boy. during that time we had a pool in the village so my dad would bring me there to practice swimming. most fathers would like a junior. unfortunately, i only looked like one. but it didnt stop my dad from teaching me guy stuff. from picking on bullies to lighting a cigarette (he was checking if i know how in college). i remember when i was 9 or 10 he asked me if someone bullies me at school. i said no one ( im not the type you wanna bully, im friendly back then). he insisted that if someone made a mistake of pushing me around, i should get a small rock and hit their head with it. how's that for my first lesson for self defense. more like my father would like me to have my first trip to the precinct. anyway, at 11, i was diving like crazy on a 6ft pool with my 4' something height. having flat chest is an advantage hehehe. it doesnt hurt too much pag plakda ang dive! i was also educated in an exclusive school in high school. not that it contributed more to my being boyish. never had any homosexual flings though. im not very active socially. i have a fair share of friends, mostly girls. no make that all girls. it was only in college when i met guys, babsy and pogi who became my roomies. my other set of friends consists mostly of guys: brandy, romeo, xander, stevie, berdie, licky, janus, mikhail and leeyow.

i remembered some comments i got before, which usually comes up when i begin asking friends why im not hitched. my imagination begin to spin a documentary or some sort of a survey where respondents answer the dreaded question : Why is maharot on the road to spinsterdom?

babsy: mahirap ligawan si johnny (his nickname for me), masunget!
barney: nanapok yun e pag ninakawan ng halik!believe me, namaga ilong ko e!
iron: ah e kakatakot e. kahit nga ngayon na nakakausap ko na sha natatakot pa din ako e!
dax: di sila uubra!wahahaha
rc: parang ang saya niyang gf, kaya lang nakakatakot e. parang mananapok lagi.
unagi: di sha "manageable" na gf...
jude: di kasi approachable ang lola nyo!
ruthie: uhmm kasi harsh siya???
athena: nakakatakot magalit si ati!!!
jerry: parang mata ko lang walang latay pag nahuli niya ko nagfflirt...
mikhail: she look unavailable and uninterested. very intimidating i must say....
brandy: a misandryst biaaaatch...peace sistaaah!
romeo: susuka yan sa kotse pag nilasing nyo.
leeyow: mabigat yan pag nagpabuhat na,kaya wag papainumin!
pogi: katakot e kahit good mood hahaha

well that's the not so wholesome part, but i bet they have more to say if i ask them about my good traits.... right guys?

hey...where did everyone go???where.jpg

Posted by maharot 16:05 Comments (0)

what do i do

WHAT DO I DO
Nyoy Volante
Acoustics: Nyoy With Mannos [2003]

INTRO

What would you do if I told you that
All that I do's think of what we had
What would you do if I'm not the friend I used to be
Well, at least, not to me

REFRAIN 1
'Cause I can't get over all the times you stay
Get crazy, jealous every time you're away
Now I'm someone different from the one you knew
Had nothing to feel for you, to feel for you

CHORUS
What do I do
I keep calling out your name
What do I do
I got no one else to blame
What do I do
Every time I hold your hand, it's not the same
What do I do
I think I fell in love with you

What can I do, what can I say
Everything keeps changing every night, every day
Every word so diff'rent, every touch so real
Every glance and every look reveals the way I feel

No, it's never ever gonna be the same
When we hug for warmth from the cold of the rain
Yet I'm not gonna move on, not gonna change
Though I find it hard to say, baby

[Repeat CHORUS]

BRIDGE
I don't know what to do
I'm fallin' more for you
Baby, please tell me...

[Repeat CHORUS]

CODA
Ooh oh
What do I do

Posted by maharot 22:45 Comments (0)

tagayan

fiction

jigs: tagay mo na, may lagnat na yan! pucha, kung ayaw mo ako na lang! sabay inom)

  • **parang gusto ko lagnatin, magkabulutong kaya ako ng 2 weeks habang nandito si denise?hmmmm not bad!ang galing ko talaga magisip! good job!

tagay2.jpg
hyubs: alangya e ininom mo din e! dayaan na toooo! minsan lang dumating ang labs ko e, lalamangan mo pako! tagayan moko ulit! naknam!

denise: tama na yan sweetie, uwe na tayo, pagod ako sa flight e. jigs wag mo na sha painumin, tapusin nyo na yan.

last night na to, pramis! mula grade 3, sidekick nako ni hubert. bert pa palayaw niya nun kaso nung nauso si hyubs na kahawig daw ni hubert webb, pinalitan na din niya ang palayaw namin. para daw cool. kaya mula sa diego, naging jigs ako. mabait naman din si kumag. para na kaming magkapatid, lahat ng sa kanya, akin na din. kung pwede ko lang hingiin si denise baka ibigay nito e. haaay denise, unang araw pa lang sa Bio class naninikip na dibdib ko sa yo. yun nga lang, torpe ako. kakabalik lang niya galing sa canada. nurse siya dun e.
pero kahit pa naging lap dancer siya ok lang sakin.

hyubs: teka muna labs, ngayon lang tayo magkikita-kita ulit e. tagal ko ng di nakakasama tong bespren ko. huli ko tong nakita nung hinatid ka namin sa airport. tapos di nako masyado tinatawagan sa bahay. nauso na ang facebook at twitter,wala pa din!

jigs: alam mo namang di ako techie e.wala akong alam jan pare.

hyubs: palusot ka pa.sabihin mo nagpapayaman ka na para sa mapapangasawa mo.

denise: ay binata ka na ha!di man lang nagkkwento.

jigs: wala pa no.

ang totoo wala, kasi walang pag-asa na magustuhan ako ng mahal ko. kasi may iba na shang mahal. at hanggang nandyan ka hyubs, walang patutunguhan ang pag-iipon ko.

hyubs: boooooo ayaw pang aminin! kung ako lang may naipon na papakasal na din ako e. dahil sha lang ang nagiisa sa buhay ko! naks!

oo naiintindihan ko, sha din ang nagiisa sakin....

Posted by maharot 16:07 Comments (0)

DOM

as a rule i changed the characters name to protect "my identity" =) LMAO!

eversince, lapitin na ko ng mga suspicious characters.
cigar.jpg fortunately, i have an innate talent of driving them away; too bad, i drive even the prospective preys away, as well. every so often i find men, mostly unavailable, hitting on me. since a have an intimidating presence, they find subtle ways to approach me. among them, one man stands out. lets call him DOMeng, which would seem appropriate for his age bracket. Domeng even looks older than my dad. he's a tad though, only half my dad's height. what struck me was that he was always looking from afar. i used to mistake him for another DOM, daddy jules who is from another account. Domeng is also from another account so im not really familiar with him other than him eyeing me all the time during yosi breaks. we've had chance encounters a few months back, hi's and hello's, and once, to clarify that he is not daddy jules. daddy jules is daddy ned and daddy rick's friend, both oldies are my teamates, so we've had our share of chicka sessions while puffing cancer sticks. going back to old domeng; i was soul searching in mars so my mind was elsewhere when he approached me. upclose, you can see he's had decades (more like 6) of summers. he has huge eyebags which reminds me of teroy de guzman. often, he would ask me how my shift was, but today was different. he approached me after finishing his stick and said:

dom: parang ang sarap mong magyosi.
me: huh? (di ba paakyat ka na 'tay?)
d: ikaw, parang ang sarap mo humithit (while looking intensely into my sleep-deprived eyes)
m: (WTF!) antok po kasi ako
d: parang you're always one with your yosi
m: (smiles, di ko nagets yun e)
d: pauwe ka na ba?
m:hindi po, first break pa lang.
d: pauwe na ako e.
m: ah maaga kayo pala nagstart. 2:30 am ako e
d: nako masarap matulog niyang ganyang oras. hanggang anong oras ka pa?
m: 11:30
d:ayan o ang sarap mo talagang magyosi. lagi kitang tinitingnan e (patay tayo jan!) parang ang sarap magyosi pag nakikita kita
m: hehehe (labas sa ilong) bad influence pala ako.
d: di naman masarapa lang talaga
m:(parang nabitin ang sentence ang pangit tuloy pakinggan!) hahaha (awkward!!) sige po akyat na ko.
sumabay pa din si lolo!kaloka sha ha!buti ibang elevator na.

Posted by maharot 13:15 Comments (0)

insomnia

world tour with dax...si alyanna kasi pinagpalit nako hmmph hehehe

sunny

while chatting the afternoon away with jude and jay, i received a text message from dax saying he'll drop by to take a quick bath before he goes to his dentist. i've taken a bath just before that so i was slumped on the floor sans brassière so i got up automatically and put one on. as a warning he shouted before he got to the door which startled me. my new roomie "aimee" thinks he's ok and that i should go for it. i just shrugged and smiled sweetly (sweetly daw?). after taking a bath he was telling me that he was on leave for three weeks due to flu and hypertension..

me: huwaaaaaat? 3 weeks? kamusta ka naman? yun pa yung di ka pumasok nung last time?
dax:oo. ayaw akong pabalikin e ang taas lagnat tapos ayaw nung cardiologist. kung wala akong fit to work from cardio, di pwede pasok.
m: sows style mo ha. ang sarap nun 3 weeks! ako din nga hehehe magiinarte ako!
d: yan naman e wala ka talagang tiwala sa kin (sad face)
m: aaaaw of course not. i believe you! (hugs him while he's putting on his shoes, di man lang pinatapos)
d: kaasar hahaha
m: plastic ba? hahaha
d: tara punta tayo dentist ko at papakainin tuloy kita.
m: yey! gwapo ba dentist mo?
d: oo naman.
m: pota pag yan DOM ha!
======
at the dentist clinic....

he asked me to wait while he had his teeth cleaned. while waiting chinika ko ang receptionist..her name is len.
m: sino ang dentist niya? ( all the diplomas on the wall have female names on them)
l: ah si doc katrina po.

hmmm kaya pala boses babae lang naririning ko. at nakikipagbolahan pa. magaling! magaling!
i texted him...
m: ang gwapo ng dentist mo ha!
d: hehehe
m: nawewet ako niyan!

after the check up...
d: tagal ba?
m: di naman.
d: nagpahot-oil ako sa loob e.
m:saan? (gullible? natatanga na naman ako ha)
d: dun o sa loob...natawa ako sa tinext mo.
m: kalandian mo!
d: ano..pwede ba un?
m: hinde. lapad mukha.
d: saka petite no?
m: oo di ka mahilig sa petite.
d: hahaha tara daan tayo sa nike.

----sa kahabaan ng ayala

d: ano ba yan ang dami mong buhangin! (sabay pagpag na parang hinahagod ang likod ko kung makakiskis)
m: anong buhangin? ginagago mo ba ko??
d: ayan o ang dami! pati jan o (sabay turo sa dibdib ko)
m: ooops! ako na ha! kaya ko na pagpagin yan
d: hahaha
m: lint po yan kasi napasama siguro sa puti (i was wearing a black blouse)
d: ayun o! gusto mo jan kain?
krispy_kreme.jpg
m: saan? krispy kremes? ayoko jan di ako mahilig sa sweets. kaya nga di ako sweet e
d: weh?
m: oo nga.
d: tara!
m: ayoko!
d: e san pala?
m: sa cash and CURRY na lang
d: hahaha curry talaga!
m: op kors! ayan hinahanap nako ng kasiping ko!
d: ha? sino?
m: si alyanna!
d: ah oo nga pala katabi kayo ng kama.sabihin mo kain tayo!
m: ayoko baka kumanta pa yun
d: bat kakanta?
m: kasi tinutukso ko sha e e nung dumating ka sa bahay dati, tinukso niya din ako
d: kelan?
m: nung dun ka natulog.nandun pala sila sa baba, di natin namalayan na dumating. tapos rinig na rinig ni dark ang mga sigaw ko mula sa cr!pagbaba ko kinakantahan na ko ni alyanna ng "be still my heart..." tapos nung nagsindi ako ng yosi sabi ni dark, "after sex, you smoke!" kutusan ko nga d ko napigil e. nahiya ako. sabi ko di naman tayo nagsex
d: wahahahaha talaga?
m: gago yun e
d: si alyanna musta naman?
m: ayun sad
d: bakit?
m: basta....pramis ha (extending my middle finger intead of the pinky which i did with bab; sometimes ruthie)
d: ano yan?
m: magpramis ka (i pulled his middle finger and entwined it to mine) na di tayo magaaway dahil lang sa babae o lalaki! yung babae ko, akin lang hahahaha
d: hahaha pramis
m: alam mo ba pinagtatalunan ka namin ni unagi.
d: nino????
m: si unagi nasa bahay sha nung nagtext ka na punta kami ni jude sa inyo e.
d: ah ok. ano sabi niya?
m: na love daw kita. sabi oo naman love ko sha. sabi niya hindi! inlove ka sa kanya!
d: kanino daw?
m: sayo! sabi ko hindi no.sabi niya natatakot lang daw ako. kasi daw takot ako magtake ng chance.hmph!sabi ko perfect tayo kaya sayang naman. sabi niya "at bakit sha perfect??"
d: hahaha affected?
m: di naman. weno naman? la nang use un ngayon no. nambubuwisit lang yun.
d: hahaha un lang!
-------------sa teriyaki girl, in between sobbing and sniffing over the uber-hot wasabi

d: gusto kong mag-abroad sabi ko nga kay em (friend niya) sasama nako japan tapos magpapatable ako sa mga babae dun, kakandong ako!tangenang anghang (luhaan!)
m: ang laki mo no, ambigat mo kaya hahaha
d: kaso ayoko naman galawin savings ko para punta dun. pambili ko yun bahay sana e.
m: naks!loan ka. mag pag-ivig ka kaya!
d: ano yun? hahaha
m: di ko na uulitin wahahaha
d: hinde nga? ano un???? hehehe
m: ayaw! wag ka nga makialam. wala sa vocabulary ko ang word na yan kaya di ko mapronounce ng maayos wahahaha di nako naniniwala jan. sakit lang sa ulo!
d: pagivig pala ha.sabi nga sakin wag kang pipili ng di mo kasundo o di mo makausap kasi pagtanda di na kayo magsesex! so dapat pili ka ng someone na makakausap mo.
.....silence....
m: ang anghang! napadami wasabi ko!
d: minsan dad's tayo sa megamall! sama natin si art!
m: sige. kakalimutan ko diet ko! hahaha
may babaeng dumaan...
m: maging tibo na lang kaya ako? kaso di ko kayang kumain ng tahong e!
d: hahaha tara kuha tayo babae. tapos kikiss ko muna tapos ikaw naman!
m: heh! tigil! gusto mo lang threesome e yoko no.
d: pramis manonood lang ako!!!
m: no way!tara na bayad na.
d: ako na...
m:nakakahiya naman sayo. di pang soseng's ang presyo hahaha
d: hehehe tara titingin tayo ng shoes...
m: saka brief! para sa basketball mo tom.
d: di na siguro uwe na lang ako. hatid kita, kuha ko bag tapos bukas ulit pag sinipag ako.
m: kaya ka nagkakasakit e. ayaw mo magpahinga.
d: un lang exercise ko e.pakinggan mo to (insomnia)
m: o ano yan?
d: naaalala kita jan.
m: bakit?
d: nung sumasayaw ka sa bar kasama natin si jude. (while craig is singing the chorus, he was dancing my steps)
m: hahaha very good kabisado mo na yan ah.
d: oo no, kinukwento ko sa kanila to e. tawa ako ng tawa pag naririnig ko to naalala kita lagi.
m: hehehe lalo pag nakita mo si athena sumayaw hahaha mas matigas pa sa katawan ni jude!
d: natawa ako dun sa tinitingnan nyong sumasayaw. alam nyo agad na bakla hahaha

i texted unagi on our way home. i said i was cured!

u: cured?
m: di nako affected sa kanya :)
u:la ka bang pasuk?
m: meron e dumating sha e so bonding time!
u: may ganun?
m: uu lagi naman e. pinakain niya ko. di lang 170 ang binayad niya hahahaha

di na sumagot. when we got home, alyanna was there waiting.

m: marz!!!! nandito nako. (sabay dinaganan ko sha)
a: san kayo galing? hi dax!
d: musta ka na?pumapayat ah!nagdadrugs (diet pills) ka pa ba?
a: tagal na hindi
d: so di ka na nagagalit pag madumi bahay? hahaha
a: sira ka!hehehe kaw din pumapayat
m: ayan naman sige bolahin ang isat isa!
d: ano uwe nako?
m: okies tenchu!
d: hmmmmm (hugs n kisses)

a: nagpipigil lang ako ha! (humming "we could be in love")
m:hahaha sira!alam niya yun.inunahan na kita bago ka pa kumanta. kinwento ko na din kasi yung kinakantahan kita kasehodang nakatapis lang ako. tawa sha ng tawa. ayan,di ako inaantok :( nahawa nako sa kanta ni craig....

Posted by maharot 12:25 Archived in Jamaica Comments (0)

teleserye

when a series nears its end, viewers cant help but feel excitement, curiousity, sadness and sometimes disappointment. excitement of new twists, curiousity of how it will end (always a happy ending if its pinoy hehehe), sadness that you wont see them everyday and of course disappointment when it doesnt end the way you want it to. such is the case in our house. two of my beloved roomies has been battling with their inner demons (im not sure if that would be suitable). i may not know the whole shebang but i could detect a rift. and what do people fight about if not love? well, some, money, others, irreconcilable differences (annulment lang?). i know there's a long list but indulge me on this one: it's LOVE. this overused noun, which makes the world go round, has taken it's toll on my two homies. like an age-old telenovela, two friends fight over one lucky bastard (he's quite nice actually). as usual, one would be the bestfriend and the other would be bestfriend's friend (in this case roomate). hay, ang hirap mainlab!!! hahahaha
3143163887_9616f4881e.jpg

Posted by maharot 00:44 Comments (2)

10 bits

tenbits.jpg
it was one frustrating afternoon. like a platform diver suspended in mid air, my heart beat skipped (tried it just once, think i lost conciousness for a few seconds, i swear) while my eyes were fixed on the screen.
chat.jpg

girl: bat ka ba depressed jan? pag di sila naniwala pag nagsabi ka ng seryoso, leave 'em. they're not worth it. naks!!
boy: ikaw na e...
girl: ang ano?
(almost at the same time, after minutes of waiting, it popped on the screen)
boy: ang pinakamakulit!
girl: ang pinakamagaling mag-advise??
girl: hahaha alam ko na yan e sabi din nila im gorgeous at sexy, and i believe them!not to mention, batang-bata!!!wahahaha

..after what seems like forever, no reaction. i tried calling unagi just to vent. when he didnt answer, i tried anakin.

anakin: o ano nangyari?bakit?
me: kakainis e! kala niya ata maatat ako na kulitin sha hmph!
anakin: sino naman yo?
me: sino pa!
anakin: hehehe pinapag-isip ka lang nun!
me: kala niya ha! papayat ako niyan kakaisip, pero never akong magsasabi!
anakin: tingin ko pareho lang kayo ng iniisip.siguro takot din yun.pareho ng kinakatakot mo.
me: ewan!

i took a shower and when i got out i heard my phone ringing. unagi was calling.

unagi: ano nangyari?bat ka tumawag?
me: naiinis lang ako kasi mukhang siyang sira.
unagi: ano?
me: teka kakaligo ko lang e nagsusuot pa ko panty!magheadset ako..ayun nga blah blah blah (same thing i told anakin)
unagi: baka kasi binabara mo?
me: hindi nu! nagbigay na nga ako ng hint na sabihin niya ng maayos e saka tinanong ko naman sha kung bat sha depressed di ba?
unagi: ayusin mo kasi ang sagot mo.
me: naloloka na ko :( ang weird dun e di ko maimagine na bf ko sha!
unagi: ano??
me: alam mo yun, ok lang ako sa kulitan namin, dating if you call it "dating" like dinner or lunch together, movies, inom. hell, i can even sleep beside him in a spoon position and i dont care.pero yung parang magdyowa parang weird yun. and yet papayag akong maging tatay sha ng baby ko di ba. the sex part will be hard though but manageable i hope.
unagi: be, papatingnan na kita! ang weird mo
me: i know pero di ko talaga maisip, na may ganun relationship between us. nasanay na ko sa ganito. kasi never ko nga sha naisipan ng mag naiisip ko lately except sa part na babymaker.
unagi: e di maghintay ka.bat ba di mo maisip na kayo?
me: hindi ko nga alam. naweiweirdan lang ako sa idea and yet naiisip ko naman sha waaaaaaaahCAOLAJOH.jpg
.....................hence 10 bits kasi di ko lam ang ending

Posted by maharot 18:34 Archived in Jamaica Comments (0)

drivin' myself insane

like a recurring bad dream....

they say "an idle mind is the devil's workshop" idle.jpg
how i wish the devil would find work elsewhere. whenever im left alone or not busy chatting, i would automatically go into a pensive mode. in all the years i fell and failed in love, this is the only time i got scared. im afraid to get hurt, that's a known fact, but not afraid to fall and wait for the right time the person will fall for me. i can be very patient, y'know.but this time, even the thought of it makes me paranoid. i always tell people that it's better to be honest and tell the person how you feel and fail in the process than not even trying. yet i cant practice what i preach. i need to be sure first if i really like him, because if it's just lust, i wont tell him anymore.kasi la din naman akong gagawin. bihira naman ako topakin na makipagmake-out. kung meron man, old flames lang o once, parang nadugo2 gang lang ako hahaha. yung di sadya pero di ko alam kung bakit may naganap na milagro, in the first place.
haaay. parang laging may slide show sa utak ko of the "aaaaw" moments that we have. worst, it would be manifested in my dreams. like one time i woke up crying coz in my dreams he was telling me how he really felt all these years. i just cried, as in hagulhol. and was asking him if he doesnt want to be friends anymore. kasi feeling ko, i wont be special anymore. na he would start lying to me about his escapades to avoid fights (which is normal kung magdyowa na kayo). alangan namang ok lang na may mga fubu sha na iba while kami da bah?kamusta naman yun? in fairness to him, kaya naman niyang maging faithful. ang tanong: hanggang kailan yun considering we wont be having sex (well, ideally, matatagalan kasi dapat comfy na ko na makita shang walang saplot and vice versa plus the "pain" factor na more of fear talaga).aaaargh i hate this feeling. i_want_you.jpg
ewan ko pa kung talagang gusto ko sha kasi di ko talaga maimagine na bf/gf relationship ang meron kami. parang gusto ko lang cuddling (with clothes) o kulitan lang like we always do. masaya sana kung sha nga ang magiging sperm donor ko. imagine the family day we would be having. baka mas makulit pa kami sa bata. o mga sportsfest involving parents. o di ba ang cute? ayan kung ano2 na naman ang naiisip ko. tingin ko kailangan ko na magsimba. hmmm perhaps that's what ill do later. it works for me e.
talk.jpg

Posted by maharot 12:22 Archived in Jamaica Comments (2)

afternoon delights

since i had my baby baby.jpg, afternoons became busier. im trying to learn new stuff, application softwares, chatting away, browsing and downloading torrents.of these all, i enjoy chatting most coz i can get in touch with friends from outer space friend.jpg and some local friends. it's my friend unagi whom i always chat with every so often. sabi ko nga he's a charm kasi whenever we're chatting dax would always get in the picture at ibubuzz ako, without me tellin him im online.

it's good that we're friends again, unagi and me. sabi nga ni jude ay parang role reversal lang ito hahaha. yes sha ang gustong bugbugin ni dax para matauhan hahaha. though they're not friends, he's seen him once. kaya naman bet niya ako iuuntog hahahaha. wala na shang alam insultuhin kundi si unagi hehehe pero joke lang naman para bwisitin ako. and lately, baligtad na kasi si dax na ang topic at ang love guru e si unagi. minsan nagulat ako kasi he asked me a question..

unagi: minahal mo ba ako kahit minsan (or something)
me: oo naman
u: hindi platonic ha
m: oo naman

end of story....

actually laging ganun.parang bitin.magtatanong pero la follow up.kaya siguro di naging kami despite years of waiting.nabingkong na ang tenga ni dax tuwing magkikita kami noon.i guess that's one of the factors why we're tight. ang walang sawa niyang pakikinig sa mga hinaing ko sa non-existent lovelife ko. or ang pagiinarte ko pag pinipilit niya kong gawin ang mga malalaswa niyang plano (not necessarily between the 2 of us). or minsan kami lang 2 masaya na kami kahit walang special na ginagawa. like walking in the rain (one of my favorite moments) like kids, ksi yung tig-50 pesos na payong lang yun kaya nililipad. nauwe, wet kami (kaming 2 ha, as in basa sa ulan).
rain.jpg

in fairness to unagi, we've had our share of happy memories. i've always thought na courting involves harana, pagsisibak ng kahoy at pag-iigib ng tubig. may time na i would visit him sa province and the only source of water is tadaaaaan
poso.jpg

u: be, wag ka na maligo
m: mainit e
u: kakaligo mo lang ah
m: kanina pa yun no

he would concede eventually, otherwise, i'd throw a fit. and you won't want to see me in that state. nevertheless, he would still enjoy my company (or pretend to) kahit sukahan ko pa sha.minsan half of his bod was covered with vomit (or what's left of my lunch), not only that, pati shoes soaked with, you know.
suka.jpg and yet, when i apologized, he accepted my apology like it wasnt a big deal. kung si dax yun, he would say "hu u?" daw sa text at kakalimutan na niya ko hahaha. he'd (dax) also be amazed on how i can live without sex.

d: ano ginagawa nyo pag magkasama kayo?
m: movies, inom, malling. parang tayo din lang.
d:mahina pala yun e
m: nirerespeto lang niya ko.lagi na lang ganun.lahat na lang nirerespeto ako. minsan naman bastusin nyo ko!
d:tara!
m: sira hahaha
d: ang tyaga mo din e.ang layo kaya nun
m: masaya na ko dun e. kahit magkatabi lang kami manood ng tv.basta kasama ko lang sha. yung parang ayaw mo matapos yung araw kasi you'll miss his presence.
d:i wont.
m; alam ko di mo sha gusto. im not tempted to do anything nasty with him yet basta lang masaya pag magkasama kami.i guess it's not physical.
d:MALAMANG!
m: heh magtigil ka.alam ko ayaw mo sa kanya.pero gusto ko sha!mahal ko sya! hahaha (monologue sessions ko yan.ate vi mode lang, na usually sha ang audience)
d: eeew
m: ano ka ba. minsan naiisip ko kung kumain na ba sha knowing his situation dun kasi abandoned nga ang drama niya.pano kung la na sha pagkain? ang payat nga niya nung nagkita kami e. kawawa naman.inaway ko pa.di talaga ako sweet. ang funny dun mas sweet pa sa kin ang mga guy friends ko.
d: e puro kasi bakla!
m: hahaha di sila.yung mga straight. si bab sweet yun. bubuhatin niya ko pag ayoko na maglakad.
d: si bab? di ko maimagine na sweet yun (they were teammates in college)
m: sa loob lang ng court mukhang maangas yun, pero sa labas, softie sha. ikaw sweet ka naman ah. minsan nga naiisip ko mas sweet pa ko sayo kasi i never cling to him while walking. di din uso sa min ang beso2 o hugging. except sa pagtulog kasi di ako nahihiyang dantayan sha.
d: style mo ha!
m: ulol. never ko shang hinarass no.
d: e di ba tinali mo na sha?
m: hahaha natandaan mo pala yun.muntik nako dun ha
d: mahilig ka kasi magmakaawa. kung ako yun, giba na ang babae.
m: kaw yun. manyak!hahaha
d: ay nako. bat di mo tanungin?
m: para ano? di nga niya kayang sabihin e. ayoko pagsisihan yun balang araw na kaya naging kami e dahil niligawan ko sha. saka di ko kaya. alam mo naman ang pride. kung di sha magsasabi, wag na lang.
d: narinig ko na yan! pero gusto mo pa din sha?
m: oo naman. pero di ako magsasabi. ang gusto kong lalaki may bayag.ayoko nung naghihintay ng chance na yung babae pa manligaw.
d: ang point dun e gusto mo pa din sha.
m: sino magkakampi?
d: syempre tayo, pangit yun e (hugs)

parte na rin ng afternoon delights ko ang mag-iiyak.a few weeks back, yun ang tema ng hapon ko. di ko matanggap na baka im falling for him. i know ive been comtemplating about it especially when i was trying to move on. i always tell ruthie pag pauwe na kami na what if sha na lang (hindi si ruthie ha). na sana magkagusto na lang ako sa kanya. kaso ayun nga, di ko naman matanggap.sabi nga, "be careful what you wish for". now, im scared shit of it. kahit sa pagtulog umiiyak ako. kasi di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko if ever. im content na sa honest relationship. kasi pag sakali, he wont tell me everything. unlike now na pag tinanong ko sha, he would tell me flat out ang sagot sa tanong ko.he doesnt have to hide kasi no matter what, tag-team kami forever. kahit pa alam niyang papagalitan ko sha, at the end of the day, kami pa din ang magkakampi. minsan naisip ko baka lust lang to. pero bat naman ngayon lang?haaaay kakaloka.feeling ko okay nako.back to basics na ulit.pero i wont forget na, one time, naging part sha ng afternoon delights ko :)

Posted by maharot 08:07 Archived in Jamaica Comments (0)

moving on...

ang problemang mahirap ang solution!

do you ever get over a loved one? either someone you've loved for a long time, someone you loved deeply, or one who caused you so much pain? i used to think it would have a SCAR reaction (my own words). it would hurt while the wound is still fresh, but after that it would just leave a scar, no pain, but there's something left that would always remind you of the "accident" or whatever you wanna call it. there are many scenarios that could be associated with getting over issues....

kung ako na lang sana.... kung_ako.jpg

eto yung medyo one sided. yung ikaw (pa) lang ang nagmamahal. ang masaklap pa minsan, close kayo. ang laging drama jan e ikaw ang takbuhan pag malungkot sya.tapos magsesenti kung bakit iniwan ng dyowa o kaya may iba din shang pinagnanasaan. masakit di ba?kung pwede mo lang sabihin...... "kung alam mo lang kung gaano kita kamahal. na kung bibigyan mo ko ng chance, marerealize mong i'm everything you never thought you've always wanted". ako e, di mo lang ako makita kasi busy ka sa iba :(

one more chance 4one_more.jpg

mula highschool magdyowa na kayo. on and off, pero alam mong kayo magkakatuluyan. until one day, sya na ang nakipagsplit. kaw naman kampante na babalikan ka pa niya, kasi nga he/she cant live without you. kaso naisip niya pala na he/she cant live with you anymore...sad sad sad. hanggang isang araw nabalitaan mo na may bago na sha. at di pa yun, nakilala lang niya sa chat. no this cant be, pano niya yun mamahalin e di naman sila talaga magkakilala pa? gusto mo sanang gayahin si bea " ako na lang, ako na lang ulit"..... tapos magbibigay ka ng long list of promises about things na alam mong ayaw niyang ginagawa mo at sasabihin mong magbabago ka na, pero dun pa din mauuwe,sa wala. nakamove on na sha pero ikaw hindi pa :(

typical love story love_story.jpg

nagkakilala kayo sa office. mabait, presentable, smart, funny. naging kayo at parang ayaw mo na matapos lahat ng happiness. until one day, malalaman mo na may asawa na sha pero sabi niya hiwalay na sila. until one day, sabi niya babalik daw yung ex niya from the states at gusto shang makita. ano mafifeel mo dun?syempre ano naman ang laban mo e may past sila. you only do the best thing, ang lumayo na lang at magmukmok sa bundok tralala. you just wish him/her well and say you'll be fine. tapos susulat ka kay charo at ipapalabas sha sa maalaala mo kaya..winner.

pusong mamon gay.jpg

bet mo sha since forever. kahit 50 feet away nakikita mo ang ningning sa mata niya na feeling mo e sign ni batman at tinatawag ka. ikaw naman kuntento kana sa pagtingin2 kay kuya kasi shy ka at natatakot kang mabugbog. hanggang dininig ni lord ang pagnonovena mo kay st. jude at miraculously, you became friends. kuntento ka na dun e. yung nakakagimmick mo sha with other friends pero alam mo deep inside that you could be happier kung may chance sana na maging kayo.choosy pa ba sha, e mabait ka naman, kaya mo shang buhayin at kahit pa TOP ka e magpapabottom ka ng bonggang bongga mahalin ka lang niya. pero wait there's more. may paglukso ng dugo kang nafifeel pag kasama mo sha. no hinde yun ang heart mong nagpapalpitate kundi ang malansang amoy whenever he's around kasehodang di naman sha rereglahin ever! hala! isa din pala shang kapatid! ang hinayupak, papatol din lang di pa sayo. gagamitan ka pa ng it's not you it's me. di pa sabihin wiz kita bet. pero syempre dahil love mo sha, ayaw mong isiping pinaasa ka lang niya. and for all he's worth, tatanggapin mo pa din sha pag nagsabi shang it's you all along. aminin mo yan, te!yan ang story of your life. sad but true...

someone's always saying goodbyedont.jpg

ikaw ang taong hindi nababakante. di naman dahil mahilig ka pero you're the type na madali iapproach. di sila magdadalawang isip na magparinig kasi mukha namang di ka mananampal. ang totoo niyan, tama sila. ikaw ang tipo ng babaeng di kayang magwala o maghagis ng gamit. in short, iyakin ka lang. pero ikaw ang epitome ng dreamgirl: mabait, pasensyosa, maasikaso, understanding, adventurous and the list goes on. kaya naman tuwing mageend ang relationship, ikaw ay clueless. ano pa ba naman ang hahanapin nila e daig mo pa ang best friend cum barkada doubled with (parang movie tie-in lang???) yaya, cook, labandera, PA at ibpa. tapos bigla na lang shang manlalamig for no apparent reason kasi di ka naman nagger o warfreak.ok alng sana kung nambababae (NOT!!!) pero yung basta na lang nagbago ang mahirap tanggapin.so tatry mo magmove on at panibagong kalbaryo na naman sa next mong "predator".

ang tanong question.jpg
pano ka nga makakarecover?

a. maghanap ng iba...
b. wait for it to die a natural death
c. magpakapokpok at lunurin ang sarili sa alak at drugs
d. umiyak at tingnan ang sarili sa salamin
e. maginarteng di affected pero lagi namang tulala
f. MAG-BLOG!!!!!!

ciao.....

Posted by maharot 12:25 Comments (0)

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