Oct 2009

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
-anna scott, notting hill

Dan: Didn't fancy my sandwiches?
Alice: Don't eat fish.
Dan: Why not?
Alice: Fish piss in the sea.
Dan: So do children.
Alice: I don't eat children either.
-closer

alice: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off... but it's better if you do
-closer

larry: Don't say it! Don't you fucking say I'm too good for you. I am, but don't say it.
-closer

kat:I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
-10 things i hate about you

john: I find you very attractive. Your aggressive moves towards me indicates that you feel the same way, however ritual requires that we engage in a number of platonic activities before we have sex. I am proceeding with those activities when, in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible. You going to slap me now?
-a beautiful mind

carol: When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then, of course, you spoke.
-as good as it gets

Oliver Barrett IV: Hey what makes you so sure I went to prep school?
Jennifer Cavelleri: You look stupid and rich.
Oliver Barrett IV: Actually I'm smart and poor.
Jennifer Cavelleri: Uh-uh, I'm smart and poor.
Oliver Barrett IV: What makes you so smart?
Jennifer Cavelleri: I wouldn't go for coffee with you.
Oliver Barrett IV: Yeah well I wouldn't ask you.
Jennifer Cavelleri: Well, that's what makes you stupid.
-love story

Jennifer Cavelleri: You're gonna flunk out if you don't study.
Oliver Barrett IV: I am studying.
Jennifer Cavelleri: Bullshit. You're looking at my legs.
Oliver Barrett IV: You know, Jenny, you're not that great looking.
Jennifer Cavelleri: I know. But can I help it if you think so?
-love story

charlie bellows: If we never see each other again, and one day, you feel a certain presence beside you... that would be me, loving you wherever I am...
- my sassy girl

Julianne: In the beginning it was mostly this prior claim, he belonged to me. But now, when I'm with him, he's just so wonderful. How come I never knew that when I could have had him?
George: It's amazing, the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.
-my bestfriend's wedding

Julianne: I have done nothing but under-handed, despicable, not even terribly imaginative things since I got here. But I was... Michael, I was just trying to... to win you. To win you back. But that doesn't excuse any of it. I'm... pond scum. Well, lower actually, I'm like the fungus the feeds on pond scum.
Michael: Lower. The pus that infects the mucus, that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum... On the other hand, thank you. For loving me that much, that way, it's pretty flattering.
Julianne: Except it makes me fungus.
Michael: Well, that part I knew.
-my bestfriend's wedding

im not sure if im just having hormonal imbalance or ive completely lost my mind (i forgot, this is a given). im planning to propose to my prospective sperm donor..thing is, i dunno how. i mean how do u tell someone that you are serious about having kids and not having a husband.and youre telling this to the person you are proposing to...! not only that, how do u say it in a manner that he'll take u seriously and not have gas laughing about the idea? how about thru text...

or via phone...
me: free ka ba?
sperm donor: huh?
me: makipagsex?
s.d.: hahaha misent! lasing ka ba?

ayan ang nakikinita ko ng scenario knowing him...e kung face to face kaya...

m: busy ka ba?
s.d.: depende.
m: i mean 3Gs. wala ka bang ginagawa, game, girls??
s.d: wala nga e.

ok, nabblanko na isip ko kung ano follow up question!! e kung romantic kaya?naaaaaaaah di ko ata kayang maging romantic sa kanya. sweet pede pa.o kaya daanin ko na lang sa patawa?

m: wanna have coffee then sex?
s.d: huwaaaw! wahahahaha kailan?

maninigas na naman ako kasi di ko lam kung ano isasagot. the problem is, i know i wanna have a baby but i dont know how to go through the process. i think kailangan ko ng sangkatutak na alak. not that it would be an excuse kasi i know what im doing when im drunk. yun nga lang malakas na loob ko. isa pa, pano kung di sha pumayag? kung papayag naman, madami yung kaartehan e. di ako magtataka kung hihingi sha ng floor show o kaya bugbugan muna kami waaaaaaah. yoko ng additional sakit ng katawan. i tried to sleep tapos nanaginip ako. parang favorable naman ang dream ko. nothing sensual really hehehe. i called to unagi to ask what words to use or how to go thru the proposal, not that he's an expert but i think he's the only straight guy left of my close friends.

unagi: seryoso ka ba?
m: oo naman no.alam mo naman yun ang plano ko sa kanya e.
u: bat di sa sunday na lang pagkatapos ng gimik
m: meron ako e, malabo yun. saka ano, free ride?? sabi ko naman sa kanya dati isang beses lang namin gagawin e
u: di naman nagagwa yun ng isang beses
m: eeeeeeh feeling ko naman buntisin(???) ako e, regular ako magkaron e
u: oo nga kaso di ganun kadali yun.
m: yun nga lang. e ngayon pa lang di ko na lam kung pano kami gagawa ng baby.kailangan ko ng alak!kaso di naman madali malasing yun. dati isang vodka kami 2, hanggang the next day sumusuka pa ko pagkagising e. samantalang sha, after nun, inubos pa ang isang san miguel na blue sila nung pinsan niya tapos kinakaladkad pako mag beer ulit.gudlak!
u: ah malakas ba uminom?
m: oo. isa pa un, gagaguhin ako nun pag lasing na ko. baka kung ano2 pa demands kasi dati nung una kong sinabi yung plan ko, sabi niya dapat twice a year magpapractice kami, kasi nga diba in 3 yrs time ko pa balak nung una kong binanggit sa kanya.sabi ba naman para daw di ko hanap-hanapin! haller!?! ako pa pala ang maghahanap. duh?!
u: e pano kung after nung iwasan ka na niya?
m: bat naman miya gagawin yun?
u: may ganung lalaki e.
m: di mabuti.di sha makikialam sa pagpapalaki ko ng baby ko. baka pati pangalan makialam sha e. gusto ko 4 leter name lang para di hirap magsulat. gusto ko sana name niya pero ayoko ng junior! (lahat ata ng junior na kilala ko naging wasted youth hahaha). di din naman ako hihingi ng kung ano sa kanya.
u: e pano kung di pumayag?
m: aawayin ko sya, para konting sperm lang pagdadamot pa, e ang dami na niyang nasayang sa tissue, kama, cr o kung san man nagsitalsikan ang mga nilabas niya dati.
u: hahaha yun pala e.tingin mo papayag?
m:pumayag naman sha dati e. nung niretract ko na yung pact, tinanong lang niya kung bakit. tapos napagusapan lang namin nung lumabas kami nina jude a few months ago.
u: e di sa card mo sabihin para di nakakahiya
m: never naman ako nahiya sa kanya e kahit gaano pa ka bastos ang usapan di naman kami naiilang.ang corny ng card ha, ano manliligaw?
u: e di ganito, lahat ng sasabihin mo lagay mo sa card tapos suksukan mo ng condom!
m: duh?! condom e gusto ko nga magkababy e!
u: di yung butas na condom lagay mo
m: eeeeeh
u: basta text moko kung ano mangyari sa pagpropropose mo ha...

If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love.

-Sir Walter Raleigh
The Nymph's reply to the Sheperd

i'm in love, for the nth time i guess hehehe. i watched the ugly truth and fell for gerard's character mike, whose cynicism about love embodies most (heart-broken) people's perception of how relationships get fucked up eventually. he's the "get it down and dirty" type of guy, who evntually falls for an anal retentive control freak, abby, catherine heigl's character. ive graduated from chick flicks but i enjoyed this one. it's nice to see guys at a loss for words sometimes. the dancing part was sexy but the elevator moment was sexier!i always have those awkward moments when you want to do something stupid. im just afraid i'll regret it the next day, or worse, immediately after. heniways, a day went by and there i was, watching gerry again in tomb raider 2. it was unintentional, my homies chose it over tomb raider 1. i was in for a big surprise...his bod resembles king leonidas' but the face was, well, softer. or should i say hotter! it was smaller, "less muscled" if i may say so. which also reminds me of a beefy version of matthew fox.

another love of my life is clive owen. i love him in closer.especially the part he's begging for julia to stay with him and began crying. i havent cried watching a love story i cant relate with;very seldom. but seeing him cry, i cried on cue. his character larry seemed to be the guy i could spend my whole life with: funny,smart, good looking, not to mention sexy. he exudes raw sexuality. he's not as good-looking as most action stars but he's just sexy. perhaps it's the smile or how he talks. i only discovered now that a guy's voice or accent makes him sexy. i started noticing gerard when i saw him in P.S. I love you. the accent made me melt. even with jeffrey dean morgan's character, william. i like irish better, i think, even if i dont really understand what they're saying hahaha. tutal if my dreams come true, i won't let them talk anyway.

i told dax about it and being the pervert that he is, our conversation went from just a plain profession of my feelings to oh well a different story.

m: im in luuuuuuuurve
d: wat? agen?
m: nalilito ako between clive and gerard. pero id take them in a heartbeat if they ask me to have a wild steamy sex with them!
d: hahaha kahit sabay sa p*p* at sa p*et?
m: im sorry i dont do 3somes. ill get confused who to moan for...
d: ay tabla!
m: di ako pwede sa ganun malilito ako. must be the weather. kung ano2 naiisip ko.
d: bad yan!
m: dahil walang action??? hmmm i could go to london and be clive's concubine or to new york to be gerard's effing whore..am i brilliant or wat???
d: or wat!?!

i told unagi about it and he said " ang halay naman". told him he's always been a pervert and im used to it. he's not the shy type hahaha.rereypin ko na yun e! then he said "try mo...baby time!!". told him im just thinking of the right words but i fell asleep hahaha. i woke up sad. i didnt even see gerry and clive in my dreams, instead i saw eddie garcia with 3 wives. parang mala-dynasty ang setting ng panaginip ko. awayan ng mga misis ni eddie garcia. too bad i cant remember everything hehehe. buti na lang di ako kasma sa cast!

i got to the office 45 minutes earlier than my shift. i lil groggy due to lack of sleep, i was greeted by male colleagues who teased "aba, himala ang aga mo ah" to which i replied, "ulol lagi akong maaga, pag hindi, ibig sabihin di nako papasok! hahaha"

they laughed and started talking about me as if im not there.

nicholo: yan ang magandang girlfriend, cool na cool!yun nga lang pag nagkamali ka bugbog agad! (laughter)

i pretended not to hear them and faced my slower than molasses pc. the conversation continued until i heard the words angelina jolie, suabe, and Assasin. thinking they were referring to my kinda guy...

maharot: ha? di ako mahilig sa bad boys no.gusto ko lang manly.
benjie: ano?
m: ano bang pinaguusapan nyo? yung type kong guy?
nichollo: hinde! sabi namin, ikaw yung tipong matapang, yung parang pang action movie na spy o kaya mala angelina jolie type na babae sa movies
m: so ako pala yung Assasin? sorry, more of a serial killer hahaha.

hmmm i forgot to thank them for the angelina likeness ( i know it's not in the looks department, but i get the drift). pero medyo napaisip ako. mukha pala akong assasin??? not that im bothered since they (nichollo, jessie and benjie) are not prospects and they're all happily taken and not my "bet" too. i know im intimidating but i never liked guns.not when i was in the navy and definitely not now. i did some shooting from rifles and .45 caliber, and i could disassemble both in a considerable amount of time ( it was a requirement for an anti-terrorist course i took back then). but contrary to public opinion, i didnt get tough because i was a soldier. i barely left the office, aside from that month long training i had. back in elementary, i would pick fights with boys, be friends with them.

i was never the "girlie" type, more like one of the boys. boys would fall in line just to play with me and my friend shei (o huwag madumi ang utak, magaling kami magsipa, the one with thick washers aka tingga). black magic, tulpit - that's what we call it when you can kick the washer for more than 15-20 meters away. i can hit it with my elbow, knees or the part of the arm that bends- humerus, but i do it best using my left foot, which seemed strange since im right handed. i dont know how it's called, ambidextrous is for the hands. ah basta all i know is that im usually ambivalent hahaha.

i really dont know what caused my so-called "toughness". perhaps it started when i was hanging out with boys early on. initially (that's after i realized that there's more to childhood than talking to yourself hahaha. i was an only child back then and i never had an imaginary friend, so i talk to myself teehee), i have 3 friends who are cousins, chris and charlie, and chris' sister tin. usually the games we play are for boys. tin though, being 5 years ahead of me got conscious so she stopped playing rough games with us. i was then left with the boys. when we transferred to manila, we used to play chato/shato, tatsing (touching? hehe) and roleplaying bioman characters. we're 5: shei, carrie, anton, rich and yours truly. since bioman only has 2 girls, shei and carrie would fight over who pink 5 will be. since at that age i already resent conflict, i opted to be blue 3. anton and rich fought a lot about who will be red 1, so i dont have any choice. im taller than all of them and very lanky at that. no boobies at all (i was 11), so i dont have any trouble taking the role meant for a boy. during that time we had a pool in the village so my dad would bring me there to practice swimming. most fathers would like a junior. unfortunately, i only looked like one. but it didint stop my dad from teaching me guy stuff. from picking on bullies to lighting a cigarette (he was checking if i know how in college). i remember when i was 9 or 10 he asked me if someone bullies me at school. i said no one ( im not the type you wanna bully, im friendly back then). he insisted that if someone made a mistake of pushing me around, i should get a small rock and hit their head with it. how's that for my first lesson for self defense. more like my father would like me to have my first trip to the precinct. anyway, at 11, i was diving like crazy on a 6ft pool with my 4' something height. having flat chest is an advantage hehehe. it doesnt hurt too much pag plakda ang dive! i was also educated in an exclusive school in high school. not that it contributed more to my being boyish. never had any homosexual flings though. im not very active socially. i have a fair share of friends, mostly girls. no make that all girls. it was only in college when i met guys, babsy and pogi who became my roomies. my other set of friends consists mostly of guys: brandy, romeo, xander, stevie, berdie, licky, janus, mikhail and leeyow.

i remembered some comments i got before, which usually comes up when i begin asking friends why im not hitched. my imagination begin to spin a documentary or some sort of a survey where respondents answer the dreaded question : Why is maharot on the road to spinsterdom?

babsy: mahirap ligawan si johnny (his nickname for me), masunget!
barney: nanapok yun e pag ninakawan ng halik!believe me, namaga ilong ko e!
iron: ah e kakatakot e. kahit nga ngayon na nakakausap ko na sha natatakot pa din ako e!
dax: di sila uubra!wahahaha
rc: parang ang saya niyang gf, kaya lang nakakatakot e. parang mananapok lagi.
unagi: di sha "manageable" na gf...
jude: di kasi approachable ang lola nyo!
ruthie: uhmm kasi harsh siya???
athena: nakakatakot magalit si ati!!!
jerry: parang mata ko lang walang latay pag nahuli niya ko nagfflirt...
mikhail: she look unavailable and uninterested. very intimidating i must say....
brandy: a misandryst biaaaatch...peace sistaaah!
romeo: susuka yan sa kotse pag nilasing nyo.
leeyow: mabigat yan pag nagpabuhat na,kaya wag papainumin!
pogi: katakot e kahit good mood hahaha

well that's the not so wholesome part, but i bet they have more to say if i ask them about my good traits.... right guys?

hey...where did everyone go???