PART II: wants babies;wont have sex

that same afternoon, ive been having episodes. i got sacred shit of the possibilities of me falling for HIM (name witheld for no reason at all..drama lang hehehe). i dont give in to peer pressure , and i wont assume either, which i think gives people the impression that im dense or unintersted. cant blame me, i dont want to fall for the wrong reasons. i know pain is inevitable but it would be like plunging into a pool head first without knowing its depth. that would be stupid. or am i? wag nyo ng sagutin kasi rhetorical yun. haaaay.

the other night, while we were having late dinner (or a very early breakfast at 200AM). i saw a couple with a pet sharpei. the dog was cuddly but i wanted a bigger pet. like a lab or rottweiler. i find big things cute, bags, phones, appetite hahaha. then i thought of babies (again). i havent felt so pressured. no one's pressuring me this time, they all gave up reminding me of the ticking clock, my biological clock, that is. cant blame them. i never felt the need then. sure id like to have babies but not yet, i told them. not until that effing sharpei showed up under our table ( during dinner/breakfast).
ruthie told me why dont you try pets first? id love to but when will i have a kid? the risk will be higher if i delay it for another year so it had to be this year or anytime soon....

ruthie: e pano ka nga magbubuntis e ayaw mo naman makipagsex? nanjan naman sha, alam naman niya ang gusto mo...kung ako sayo natry ko na yan matagal na especially kung hinaharass naman niya ko.
me: e ganun lang sha talaga.
r: di mo ba naisip na baka...
m: gusto niya ko?di ko maisip e.kasi kalimitan ng chicks niya mapuputi flawless alam mo yun. very pleasant.di pa din ako mapalagay kahit pa ang type niya daw e morena, tsinita, athletic smart...
r: o kita mo na. baka di mo lang nahahalata..
m: e bat ngayon lang? ang tagal na namin magkakilala e
r: malay mo noon pa di mo lang napansin
m: yeah minsan naiisip ko na ang tyaga niya sa kin,di ko naman nakakalimutan yung mga yun e. kaya ko nga sha love because of that.
r: bat kasi di mo try?
m: di ko maisip kasi kung ano magugustuhan niya sakin e di nga ako "fighter"!! sige isa-isahin natin...

a) dahil ba sa galing kong magprito ng

b) dahil ba sa mahilig ako.......sa rice

c) ang paminsan-minsan kong paghihilik?

d) o ang kamangha-mangha kong talent na gawing korteng heart ang tyan ko???

me: kakailang pa kasi antaba ko na nga.wla na sha alam gawin kundi kilitiin ang ko...

r: ayaw mo naman kasi magrisk.
m: hindi ko kaya. madedepress ako pag nawala sha. sha lang ang nakakapagpasaya sakin ng walang guilt feeling kasi nga platonic kami.
r: walang platonic no!
m: meron, kala mo lang wala pero meron
r: sige sino pa ang friend mong platonic?
m: si raspit saka si andoy! alam ko naman di kami attracted sa isat isa
r: hinde!! at one point im sure nagkaron yan.