wants babies;wont have sex

yes, i'm afraid im serious...ridiculous right? who doesn't want sex at this day and age? present!!!! i guess im a laaaaaaaaaaate bloomer. i remember having my first MU at the ripe age of 25 and havent had a slightest inkling to visit "establishments" to participate in any rigorous activity. the first time i set foot there was primarily due to curiousity. didnt get any success stories, poor exes. had lotsa fun though

let's get straight to the main point. yes, i want to have a baby/babies. ive always been crazy about kids, being an only child for a long time. id like to say im great with kids, especially the snotty ones and the terrible twos. thing is, i just cant have kids instantly. i dont want to adopt. i want my own kid. and im sure all of you knows how that's done. and that's the thing: I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX....

i dont have anything against sex, how can i? i havent met sex. but sex has a following. heard many reviews about it, mostly amazing ;-) still it doesnt reassure me that i'd have the same fate as other women before me who enjoyed it. i think i have algophobia. im afraid of pain. physical pain that is. anything that would involve cuts or lacerations, count me out. i used to be afraid of injections. i had to overcome it when i got in the navy since i opt to donate blood (they say it's healthy). but i have a vivid imagination and i cant stand the thought that my hymen will be ripped during reproduction

last sunday, dax, jude and moi went out for a few drinks. supposedly, dax will introduce jude to 2 officemates who're also looking for dates and new friends. fortunately (for the friends or for jude, i dunno really hehehe), the officemates was tired from another gimmick the night before. and then there was three. we started out gimmick with them watching me eat my dinner. just woke up when jude picked me up from the house so i need to eat RICE!!!

after a few drinks, we talked about why we're not hitched yet.
jude: o dax kamusta naman. single ka ba ngayon?
dax: oo march o april pa wala...
j: ganun? e bat wala?
d: wala e.
j: ano bang type mo?
d: dapat gusto na magkababy kasi gusto ko na magstart ng family. saka mature magisip para di na hassle
j: ayun naman pala (sabay tinuhod ako!). o di ba ikaw gusto mko na din magbaby?
me: oo pero magkaiba kami ng gusto. ako kung di ako mahahanap ng prince charming ko, baby lang gusto ko. ayoko ng complications of having a husband.
tawanan... tipsy na kami ni jude e
j: ano ba kasing type mo? give me 5 traits/qualities
m: hmmm syempre matangkad, at least 5'10 o 5'11. smart. funny...nasabi ko na bang smart?
j: oo no
m: hmmm e funny?syempre athletic!saka...
d: e pasok nako sa apat ah

moment of silence... i was thinking e ano naman kung pasok ka sa requirements ko? sabay tuhod ni jude sakin..

m: ano bang panglima? mabait syempre. very general pala.basta kasundo ko keri na yun!

when we got home, i offered him a towel so he could freshen up. he was asking for...
d: wala ka bang boxers?
...... i was thinking "ako nga naiilang isuot sarili kong boxers e...."
m: di kasya sayo (baka magpyesta ang bayan pag nanigas ka sa umaga!)
d: kasya, nagkasya nga sayo e.
m:letse!hahanapan kita ng iba..
d:hahaha

we slept in my single sized bed. as usual his big hands were all over my torso. awkward....

i wiggled a bit (we originally had a spoon position) so i was lying upright when he put aleg between mine, i can hardly breath...(i can hear Jude's voice in my head... AAAAWKWAAAAAARD!). alyanna moved a bit and sat right up and commented:

alyannna: o marz, nag-asawa ka na pala? hehehe
me: oo nga te tinake home ko na
alyanna: hi dax!baba muna ko marz.
chance ko na to!!!!para lumipat ng bed.behaved naman sha till morning.nagbreakfast lang kami ng SPAM.
haaaay...to be continued.